Trust .... They say it's the key to every healthy relationship... I say its the key to life ... Which is centered around the biggest most important relationship of them all. I've heard the saying, be careful what you ask for ... Cuz you usually get it ... Or ... The saying that when we declare an intention or commitment we usually get tested in numerous ways, over and over again until we pass... Isn't that part of what life is? A series of tests... To challenge us to grow - to step outside of our self... And to in some way give back to the world more then we take through our own gifts?
One huge part of me, the old self, the programmed, conditioned lifelong habitual thought patterned self... Wants to run... Wants to listen to the fears running through my head, twisting my emotions ... Causing me to doubt... It's in these weak moments - through these old belief systems we battle to win control over that the enemy, our mind, attacks... It's up to our conscious self to remain at peace, focused on what deep down we know is the truth.. To not be fooled by the lies, to not give in to the fears, the old stories... To create new stories and honor our commitments to change the trajectory of our lives... Of your minds ... Simply put: to TRUST.
It sounds so simple and yet so complex when put to the test... You proclaim a commitment to trust - to have faith- to stay strong - to honor your burning desires - to not quit... And the moment you do- boom... Things happen - life happens - people happen ...and it's in these moments, these challenges, we either grow through the struggle or we suffer - it's always a choice. Not easy, but nevertheless, a choice.
What happens when you feel like you are finally overcoming your demons, your struggles, your old belief patterns... You finally have your conscious mind back in charge ... And whack- you get smacked in the face... Blind sighted ... You have to choose - who wins...
What happens when "trust issues" are your "thing" ... And right when you FINALLY choose to trust, after years of struggling with the whole concept of it... What if the very people you FINALLY confided in, trusted with all of your heart, opened yourself up to, became vulnerable to ... What if they walked away, turned their head the other way? Do you beat yourself up? Do you find all the ways you weren't worthy? Does your old mind use these people and situations to reaffirm to your self why your old beliefs were right all along? Do you question your lovability? Do you question your judgement? Do you demand yourself to not trust anymore? Do you push everyone else away? Do you run?
OR ... Do you pick your head up- evaluate where you could have been better in the relationship, learn and grow... Do you allow the person(s) to walk away, while keeping your head up high? Do you recognize that maybe, just maybe, it's all a test of TRUST.. And do you remember that not all people are meant to be in your life for a lifetime, some just a season, some just a reason... And do you remember that at the end of it all - we were meant to TRUST - cuz we aren't the ones in control after all... And do we remember that sometimes old is cleared out of our life to make room for new, even if, it makes no sense in the moment and maybe even hurts like hell.
It's a tough choice .... But it's just one of many tough choices that make up life ... These choices are often going to be determined through the way we process life ... And they will all, each and every one, ultimately have profound impact on the outcome of the whole journey... So I say, no matter how hard it is, the best choice is as clear as day: TRUST. Easy to say, harder to do...but always worth it.