I’ve found someone - an author /speaker- who really resonates with me .... like I can’t even put to words how much she speaks to me and when I read her books or listen to her talks - I feel heard - understood - I feel like she took the deepest feelings and fears that I struggle with, and pulled them out of my mind into words herself. It’s wild... her name is Brene Brown. She is a shame researcher... she writes and speaks about shame - she also writes and speaks about vulnerability - and wholeheartedness.
I’ve known for a while now that I’ve had some struggles with deeply rooted feelings of shame - but I couldn’t understand them or pin point them in order to allow them to express themselves to release them ... but until I read her books - I didn’t realize how deep this issue really was...and it runs deep.... WOW. She writes about how it’s a topic we are all afraid to write or talk about, and I notice the resistance I have even as I write or say the word, myself. It’s crazy. But it’s there - I’ve know based on some physical ailments I have struggled with that the underlying emotional connection is often shame, but I struggled to fully grasp or connect with shame - until I understood shame and what it actually is - how it looks - the ways it shows up - and how it physically feels - and WOW.
I have a ton more exploring to do - but I like where this is going - I admittedly realize it’s a way bigger issue in my body then I previous suspected ... it has opened my mind to soooooo much about myself and the areas I still have room to grow - it has helped me identify these areas for the first time and understand myself in a way I’ve never been able to before.
I’ve reflected on so many ways I’ve brought shame into ALL of my close relationships - but didn’t even know that is what I was dealing with until now ... but this is good. This gives hope - this is guidance - this shows there is light - a different way - the possibilities ....
She has studied shame @ least 12 years and she believes it’s a silent epidemic - and correlates shame and our societal lack of vulnerability as a major culprit for much of our pain and disconnection... we ALL have and suffer from various levels of and forms of shame - but rarely do we feel comfortable to see it, acknowledge it, label it and definitely not talk about it ... but I refuse to just get by in life - I refuse to allow unnecessary suffering, I refuse to die at some later tomorrow the same person I am today, with the same struggles - and I refuse to avoid ever allowing myself to experience truly deep, open meaningful connections, so I’m going to talk about it ... because connecting heals.
We need to talk about it - we need to be there for each other - and we all need to feel seen and heard. I want to open the door and create space for other people to feel safe to explore this topic in their world too. I want to be there for people I love and care about ... as I hope I can count on them to be there for me .... we don’t have to stay stuck in a loop or cycle ... there is another way, a better way. So I’m excited to just keep delving into her research, her work, her wisdom, but most importantly to go within and delve into what I know to be one of the biggest sources of my pain and unpack it - and make a daily practice - one day at a time - one choice at a time - of choosing to be wholehearted... its a muscle we have to flex everyday....
If this resonates with you - let’s chat ... or if you aren’t ready to talk about it, pick up one of her books - and see what happens. If books aren’t your thing - look up her Tedx talk on you tube - it’s only 18 minutes of your life ❤️ xoxoxoxxo