About a month ago I started reading the book A Purpose Driven Life. This book is designed to help one determine his/her God given purpose. In my past I have underwent several exercises to attempt to determine this, and always found myself still confused. I think that I have always been super focused on a really narrow mindset of what this should look like, therefore, inhibiting myself to see the truth. I expected a super specific purpose (as in the specific industry I am supposed to be in - what exactly I am supposed to be doing) .... As I have approached each chapter of the book, I eagerly awaited these mysterious and seemingly magical answers.
Then, as I was driving to church last Sunday it hit me. I had this sudden lightbulb shine brighter then ever, an epiphany, if you will. It isn’t about the specifics at all, and as much as I enjoy this book, and fully plan to complete the 40 day challenge, I already know what my purpose is, and I realize that I have always known. It is simply something I have longed to do my whole life for people, because in the moments that I am doing it, it feels so natural, so right, so perfect. It completes me and fills my heart with joy. It all makes sense now... and at the end of the day I don’t think it truly matters what outlet I use to live out my purpose - so long as it continues to bring me joy and those around me. As I have been learning in the book, to be authentic and use my natural gifts is a form of worship and what God wants from us.
So, what is this purpose? SERVICE. That simple - to be of service - to provide service - to do - to give my time, my love, and my hands through my heart - allowing God to work through me to give to other people using my talents. And,I have done this in every job or career I have ever had. Whether it was as a waitress, a banker, in finance, insurance, or health & fitness. I put my heart into everything I do that is service oriented. My focus is always providing a “wow” experience. In my personal relationships I thrive on providing service. It is so natural - it has always been my way to show someone how I feel -that I care. I love the feeling of making something else feel so incredibly special and important. I love the feeling of nurturing someone and filling up his/her cup. I love to do things for people and bring them joy. Until this precise moment on a normal Sunday afternoon, I just never realized how incredibly simple a purpose could be - yet still profound. I spent the better part of my life searching for something outside of myself - when all along it was inside me - and shining through.
I still struggle with the desire to know the specific outlet that I am destined to live out this purpose in - and the best way to make a career out of service. Is it fitness? Nutritional support? Or is it something totally different? As my passion is truly health & fitness it makes sense that it would be through this realm. However, I believe that it is also important that I continue to serve each person in every interpersonal relationship I have for the rest of my life on Earth with every chance I get.
Part of my daily prayer is to ask God to consume me with his love so that I can live a life of service through love. So I can be love. I don’t want to serve to receive. I don’t want to serve to shine. I don’t want to serve to be special. I don’t want to serve selectively or when it is convenient for me. I simply want to be love (as a verb) and through this immense love acts of service flow naturally, simply living in God’s plan. All of this is, of course, is easy to say, harder to do. I know I still find myself frustrated at times, feeling overwhelmed, overworked, stressed, fatigued, exhausted, under appreciated, and so on.... I have a moment where I want to withdrawal, walk away, quit something... but the amazing thing is through my daily prayer I always find the ability to step back, reassess, remind myself what it is truly about and who it is truly for (God), and then develop the strength to carry on.