Have you ever observed or experienced a behavioral trait or habit that was less then favorable in your eyes that you swore to yourself you would never adopt only to wake up one day and realize that you did have it?
A moment like this happened to me just the other day... It's amazing how we can find ourselves doing to others the very thing we can not stand having done to ourselves…
Lifelong habits, thought patterns and behaviors are hard ones to unlearn... But I have to believe it can be done - for my sake - and the sake of many others ....
Opinions… we all have them… some of us just find the need to voice them more then others… and often when not asked for… What I noticed for me was that sometimes it’s not in whether or not someone voices it, but how or why…Is it being voiced in a way that suggests it is superior to another opinion? Is it being voiced to prove a point? Does it come across self righteously? Or, rather, Is it spoken humbly?
These are the thoughts that run through my head when analyzing myself and how I generally deliver opinions… Cuz I know I have them - mostly they are opinions for my own life - but I fear that sometimes I might solicite them to others without the welcoming, although I have been actively practicing to ask if I can share it, I still have days I fail miserably in this attempt. My biggest concern is to make sure that I am never coming across as self righteous, as though my opinion is superior, because I know it’s not…It’s not my job to make anyone else feel small, especially when its my heart’s desire to lift people up, build them up, and love them regardless of indifferences of thought and action.
I personally know I have encountered a few people in my life who have an answer and opinion about everything, and I find myself resist engaging with these people, because it’s not fun… therefore, I don’t want to be like these people… Do onto others as we would want done to ourself… they say everyone comes into our life for a reason, if even to show you how not to be.. They say that people are reflections of ourself, that if we experience something in someone we don’t like, at a deeper level we have that trait within ourself as well. The same is true for things we like. We see someone’s capacity to love, inherently we have the capacity to love as well… We experience someone’s self righteousness, we can find it in ourself as well...
My goal is to recognize in myself what is not of me - and doesn't represent the life I want to live or the character I want to project... And then grow through it.... I know that if I'm particularly observant to how others actions make me feel - I can use that experience as a reflection tool to check in with myself and make sure that the said behavior or habit in the other person is not a behavior that I represent ..... People are mirrors and reminders of how we both want to be and not be - how we want to act and not act - and how we want to respond and not respond... So if we find ourself flustered with someone else's actions or behavior - perhaps - it would be best to stop and ask ourself "why does this bother me so much and do I ever do this to other people?" Likewise if we find ourself totally drawn to another person it's good to ask ourself if the qualities we are drawn to are qualities we possess and outwardly display toward other people in our life!
#bethechange #growth #intention #bebetter