Ever heard that poem about a reason, season, or lifetime? … It's about why and how long someone may stay in your life, or perhaps, you in theirs. The thing is we can meet someone and never really know God's plan for that person in our life or us in theirs. We may think everything seems so right and we can feel like we want them for a lifetime, but for reasons sometimes we can't explain they become a reason or season friend. Sometimes the reason doesn't seem quite fair - but it's not up to us what is always fair and sometimes it's not about us either. The thing is ... Sometimes we might think they are only going to be a season and it might last a lifetime. There is no way of really knowing and every time you open your heart you take a risk .... A risk that can be seriously scary, a risk that could end in heartache, but a risk that's so worth it in the end.
I used to be so closed off... I thought I would never open my heart up again .... I felt it wasn't worth it to risk loving again for the fear of loosing again .... For many years the risk always outweighed the potential reward, or so I thought. The truth is though, the reward is soooo worth the risk, even if you open your heart and loose. Cuz even with every loss is gain - it's all perspective. If you open your heart and you love - you feel ... And to feel is to be truly alive. You may end up loving someone that becomes just a reason or a season friend, and you may be saddened, you may feel heartache, but instead of focusing on the loss or pain, you can focus on the fact that you still gained by allowing yourself to feel fully alive, if even not for the length of years you wanted.
What changed for me was when I started trying to imagine being old looking back on life. I used to feel that it was more worth never loving again to avoid hurting again... But the reality is - I'd rather love 10x over again and hurt 10x over again then not love at all. If I fast forward my life 40 years ... All I can think is would rather look back and think to myself "ya…Well phew, I saved myself heartache and loss, but never experienced real love" or would I rather think back on all the wonderful opportunities and time I spent loving, if even followed by a loss. I chose the latter.
Loving hurts sometimes, this is true. The thought of opening your heart and becoming completely vulnerable in front of another soul is scary shit, but the feeling of choosing to love that person through thick and thin, good and bad makes it worth it. The ability to see through the flaws and find the perfection, or knowing that you inspire and encourage that person to grow and be the best person he/she can be makes it worth it. The opportunity to give a piece of yourself to another person and share your soul with someone and be so intimately connected makes it worth it.
The thing is - there is inherit risk in EVERY decision we make in every aspect of life. Simplistically speaking, there is always a 50/50 chance in everything we do… so do we spend our whole life making every decision on the 50% chance that things could fail, that something could go wrong, that it might not work out, that love might not last, that a heart might get broken, that someone might get hurt… or do we let go of that control and focus on the potential of what could go right, the potential reward, the bigger picture, the better outcome, trusting God, because otherwise we end up loosing big.
Sometimes in life; however, the choice isn't ours. This is when all we can do is be grateful for the experience we had, the opportunity we were given, the strength we can gain, and we confide in God, trusting his plan, knowing that even if things don't look the way we think they are supposed to -we trust and know that there is always a reason. We remind ourselves that every door that closes is followed by another that opens. And we remember, as Dr. Steve Maraboli said, "As I look back on my life, I realized that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better." I love that. <3