One of my biggest goals with this trip was to learn how to be unapologetically me. To learn to live authentically and intuitively - to honor my truths. To learn to also love and fully accept myself more, thereby creating space for others to do the same. Also to no longer care what anyone thought of me, knowing and trusting that all the right people for me will be in my life in the right time and place. I’m noticing already, one month in how much more conscious, present and aware I am becoming ... often in the moment ... and how when I notice myself falling back into an old pattern or thought habit I can acknowledge it with grace, with loving kindness, and quickly autocorrect or realign. Whereby before I would beat myself up, feel guilty, get mad or frustrated with myself for my “continuous failure”, often feeling like I would never be able to change when I kept “messing up”. These days the idea of growth and change isn’t even in question- I know beyond a certainty of a doubt I’m already on a new path - walking in a new direction everyday - developing this deeper more meaningful relationship with myself and spirit, and that feels really good. I hold this belief that if we could all walk through a journey into developing deep meaningful relationships with ourselves first founded by authentic love - that we could all be so much happier, healthier and connected to one another. This takes courage ... and commitment.... and many moments of discomfort... sometimes it takes loneliness... it takes questioning ourself constantly - asking deeper layered questions - getting to the raw source of our belief systems, and often stripping away all that we have known or thought to be our truth. It takes presence, awareness and discipline - a constant reminder to not slip back into an autopilot state of being. It takes a willingness to challenge ourself rather then defend ourself. And it requires compassion, non-judgement, forgiveness, and love.
It’s crazy because I love the idea of falling more in love with who I am and what I stand for, and it helps me fall in love with humanity - with life - with all that is or ever was- finding beauty even in the struggle - the challenges. There are so many times on this trip I’m overwhelmed by the beauty I am surrounded by - both in nature and humanity - in joy and sorrow. I envision world where everyone can wake up tomorrow and make choices from a place of love - not ego masked as love - but genuine loving kindness.