Why do we feel the need to label everything & judge it "good" or "bad"?? We judge our own emotions - and then we judge ourselves for feeling these emotions. Then we judge our thoughts - and then we judge ourselves for feeling these thoughts. But we are not our thoughts or emotions - we are simply a being feeling them or thinking them... And they, in and of themselves, are not bad... They only become "bad" when we label them and then judge ourselves... If we deem them bad then we begin to resist them- this in turn can cause them to persist.... Then we think something must be wrong with us... But what if the feelings we have are simply there to support us? To help us grow? To alert us when something might be wrong so that they can draw our attention to something deeper? What if they are there to give us insight into something about ourselves so that we can heal?
I believe that when our body sends us pain singles it is simply it's way of communicating with us that something needs attention. Our body is not bad because it feels pain. We are not bad because we "caused" it pain. We are simply there to recognize it and determine where it might be coming from and what we can do for it.
In my heart this rings true for emotions as well... When we feel sad or angry or upset or hurt or depressed we are so quick to not only judge the emotion as bad, judge ourselves for feeling it - such as now feeling pathetic- or wrong - or weak for feeling these ways- assuming something is wrong with us- therefore then feeling like we "shouldn't " feel this way & we "should " have more control of these feelings - instead of just allowing ourself to be wherever we are at and feel whatever we feel as an observer or experiencer- and to explore what the emotion is there to communicate.
And why do we have to label ourselves for feeling these emotions - it's in pain, melancholy, sadness - that our most brilliant steps forward in life can bloom- our most growth- our most realization- and our most strength can develop. And I've found in myself and others that we often feel weak or pathetic because we are sad or depressed - but why? How does that make us weak? Who on earth is ever 100% happy and free of sorrow? It's inhuman- and we need the yin and yang. Plus it is in our sadness that we allow those we love and care about to step in and support us - love us through our stuff - through our pain- through our tears... I know plenty of people, and I was once this person- who never wanted to take any help from anyone - lean on anyone or let anyone support me - because, again, I felt weak or pathetic- I created stories in my head that I "should" have it all together - I "should" have it all figured it - or that I "shouldn't " feel a certain way cuz it could be worse - but this isn't real... And needing love and support doesn't make us weak- it actually takes more strength and courage then is often given credit for - to be vulnerable enough to drop the walls - to let down the gaurds - and to take off a mask... To let someone in and let them love you through it - to say to someone "hey I need help, I can't do this alone"... Cuz I know now that the people who love and care about us want to be there for us- just like we would want to be for them.
If we could only escape the labels - the self ridicule - the self judgement - where does it come from? Is it from solely within? Or is there an a pressure from the society at large - the media ?!? Or is it because we all wear masks acting like it's all ok- so when we aren't ok- we think everyone else around us is so much stronger - better - happier - and wiser or has something figured out that we are missing?
I know I'm guilty of feeling like I need to portray myself as this strong independent woman who can do it all alone and has it all figured out - but that's BS most of the time - because most days I'm just a free spirit wandering aimlessly through life - often going through the motions - not having the slightest clue what I want or need - acting like I don't need anyone - but dying inside to experience a true deep intimate connection - and afraid too much of loosing it to ever even let myself experience it. Wow.
LASTLY, I often find that many of us (myself included) associate ourselves as the emotion, rather then simply acknowledging we are feeling the emotion. This is something I have truly been trying to work on and yet fall short daily. We say "I'm sad" "I'm depressed" "I'm angry" rather then I feel sad, I'm feeling angry, I've been feeling depressed. We aren't our emotion... And we don't want to trick our mind into believing we are - because then the mind starts tricking us back. And I think THIS is where the self judgement around the emotion comes into even stronger play. What if it's ok to just feel these feelings? What if it's ok to feel depressed sometimes ? What if it's ok to feel sad? What if it's ok to feel angry? All as much as its ok with feeling joyful, happy, peaceful, and excited? (Although too often I also see the flip side of the spectrum where we don't allow ourself to feel worthy of feeling the "good" labeled feelings either - save that topic for another day).
What if this big colorful spectrum of emotions are just the very essential essence of being truly human?!?!?