When someone's behaviors don't meet your expectations, how do you fill the gap? Is it through assuming the worst or believing the best?
Pastor Kevin, of New Life Christian Church, suggests in this weeks message (6/03/12) that if you want a lasting relationship based on love that you will always believe the best, even if that means risking being wrong sometimes. He asks, " would you rather be right all the time & push someone away & fill your heart w "stuff"or would you rather the risk to be wrong only to pull someone closer?"
I can openly admit that I've spent the better part of my life (ok 31 years) assuming the worst. It wasn't until recently, thanks to my best friend, Sophia, that I started looking through a different lens & believing the best. In just a short amount of time (all of four months) I have already found so much value in the experience of believing the best. Thus far, that belief has yet to be wrong. Pastor Kevin says that "yes there is always associated risk- sometimes it will be the worst, sometimes someone will wrong you, but more often then not, people will rise above to the level you believe in them"
I know I have a lot of opportunity for growth still - I have a deeply rooted unhealthy habit that I strongly desire to break & I know in my heart with God by my side and my dearest friends support & someone so very special in my life that I know will often rise above, as he has this far , the rewards of creating this new habit will so very much worth the effort put into it. As I mentioned I have been practicing this over the last four months - but I'm far from good at it. Each and every encounter with a gap started out with my initial natural instinct to assume worse. Luckily I have Sophia in my life and usually through one amazing conversation she can almost always get my switch to flip so that I can see more clearly & shift my attention. I feel that although I am a long way from a total shift that I am at least on the right track, as the awareness is in my forefront & that is the first step to change. Now I can at least really recognize when my mind goes to the wrong place & I have the ability to consciously choose a shift & realign my beliefs. In the past I was so caught up in just thinking the worst that I didn't even see any other thought process as a possibility. I know this will be a daily struggle until I deeply ingrain this new belief system into my mind, heart & soul, but I am so ready for this challenge, as I know the outcome will greatly affect my life, my ability to love, and my ability to create a lasting loving relationship someday.
I feel so much gratitude to have this awareness, support & commitment toward to new way of thinking & being. Just another step one of many to come - always growing because if your not in growth you are in decay - who wants to be there?