I’m not enough
I’m too much ...
What does it all mean!?!
“Completely conflicting beliefs - is this one big dream .. gone bad ... perhaps a nightmare....Wake me up - no joke - before I feel despair ... oh wait - I’ve already been there.”
Your too hyper - too happy - can you tone it down
Oh now stop you’re crying - Dry your eyes - your being dramatic
You are just a girl ....
You are so smart - all brains - it’s just easy for you - “what you don’t think I work hard??? - well I do”
And where did you come from, it sure wasn’t us ....
But be a good girl and do as you are told, don’t dare ask why... go ahead and try me - see what you get.
Sports, no silly girl you aren’t athletic - you lack coordination. You definely can’t dance - your poor thing - you got your dad’s lack of rhythm...and do yourself a favor and don’t ever sing.
Too whoo whoo too hippie ... cant take you seriously
Your opinion doesn’t count cuz your ideals are unrealistic
You just gonna be one of those educated bumms wasting your skill - will you ever grow up?
Your moving away ? Well we know you will be back - it’s too expensive out there - you won’t make it - you will never last.
Wait, You don’t want a 9-5 & you don’t work full time -you aren’t up at sunrise working until midnight? I will ask you again what are you even doing with your life?
Ohhhh well you must just be lazy - sleep is over rated - it’s for the weak...
Play is for kids, now be an adult. Figure out what your life is about!
“Oh and by life do you mean what soul sucking job I will do - that you approve - that takes all my time - and sucks me dry.... stay stuck in the drama cycle and feel the stress and complain and bitch and moan like all of the rest?”
This is what life’s all about don’t you know? What, you think you are better then us cuz you don’t want the same stuff?
“Well I have and I do what I want - I’m happy, abundant and have more then I need ... isn’t this enough? How much more should I want? Yes I would love eventually to earn even more money to give lots back and this day is not far ahead - trust me at that.”
No no silly girl money doesn’t grow on trees - in fact it’s the root of all evil - rich people steal - so don’t you dare earn it and be one of those people.
And your hair - it’s too short - short hair is for boys ... and would you ever put on makeup and dress yourself up? You mean your going out in what you are wearing? Your not gonna change? Your not even going to do your hair? Those eyebrows to thick too thin - can’t you get it right?
You know you are getting old quick - I hope you use face cream .... and do you wanna die alone? No one is perfect so you may as well settle...
Ugh no kids for you either - well that’s a misfortune - you selfish woman -you are missing out - you will never - could never possibly understand true unconditional love - this is something only a mother knows...
Oh you have a dog and you think you understand love? Silly girl a dog is nothing like a child - I should know.
“Apparently other people get to decide how we should, should not, could, or could not possibly feel ...
Suddenly we are put into some box that says well he believes it -so then it must be - it just must.”
Give your power away - trust me I say- I’m the expert - I know what’s best for you these days...
And don’t worry if it’s wrong you can rest knowing you are the victim no fault of your own -you can pass the blame along.
Let me tell you how you should live your life ... and if you aren’t -how you should feel and never mind how you think you feel - those feelings aren’t even real ...
You believe in what? Oh that nonsense shit - that again - oh please just sit.
Another book you are reading another class you take? All this spiritual self development it’s all just fake. You have been working on yourself your whole life - why the need - if it actually worked then maybe you would be someone else... and you wouldn’t need to keep reading more - never mind the fact it’s a lifelong journey ...
oh wait what? .... back track .... Who says it’s not about a destination?!?
I’m totally going to be happy when I get there. Get where you ask? You know .. there ... the place I’ve never been - but when - just when I do - you will see - I will truly be happy - follow me.... you know the saying ... misery loves me some company.
“Nah I think I’ll pass on all that .... I’m going to stay on my own path - it has led me beautiful places, always in the graces .... and I’m feeling love from the divine - my life is unfolding in perfect time.
Thank you for all the trials and tribulations - it’s all of this that I’ve gone through that makes me me - and as far as who I am - I’m as proud as can be. I stand firm in my truth - and celebrate joyfully ... so you do you...and I will do me.”
This calming sensation brings me back to my inner being, grounding me to the Earth, connecting me to the sky, centering me in truth...
Reconnecting to what was once lost in youth ...
My inner knowing - my connection to source, oneness, all that is, was, and will be
It helps me to see so clearly
The divinity in you - the divinity in me...
The way it’s always been meant to be
We spend our whole life growing - often away from our original knowing - until we get a glimpse again...
Now we know there is no end
A new beginning - we are on a quest ... settling back into who we be - who we have always been - stripping off the mask, we didn’t even know we had on all along...
Feeling so much freedom with it gone
Although it can be a bumpy ride - tears can fall as we strip the fears- moments we fall back into where we feel like we are loosing our self - or at least our friends, and all we have known up until this now...
Wondering so very often, how ?!?
Stepping out of a lifetime of deeply conditioned minds - but this ego inside is scared of this change - it wants so badly for us to stay the same-
It tricks us into believing the known is a better place to be - but when we finally strip ourselves of ego...
Then and only then are we truly free
Conscious Creatives- inner peace - a constant expression of love we get to see and be. A sacred light shared between you and me....
That is Source energy
So I have been reading this book lately called “A Complaint Free World” by Will Bowen & I LOVE IT! I have also been working on this dynamic neural retraining system by Annie Hopper that is a fabulous tool to practice daily to reprogram and rewire our brain. As Dr. Joe Dispenza always says, “Neurons that wire together fire together” … It has become extremely evident that our brain indeed has plasticity, meaning the ability to change. It is also known that we can’t change, grow or heal from within the same environment we got sick. Meaning, that whatever neurons are firing together to get us sick, has to be rewired into something new if we want to get well. So there are so many available tools these days to help us give our brain an upgrade. Whether it is the tools from the dynamic neural retraining system, bringing awareness to one’s self to become complaint free, meditation on rewiring the brain by elevating emotions, it all comes down to awareness & repetition. In addition, I believe that in order to maintain the necessary awareness and level of repetition it also requires a strong will and desire to change, grow and/or heal.
We have to trust that there is a better life waiting for us to tap into once we can create new pathways to access it. So many of us have so many negative emotions, negative mental loops, and negative habits that we aren’t even aware of. It is only through awareness can we ever step into the path of change. I know that our mind is a very powerful tool, and I truly believe through the power of accessing consciousness and staying in a state of awareness as often as possible that any healing is possible, both mental, emotional, and physiological…because it is ALL connected. However, this isn’t easy - again, it takes work - repetition - daily commitments, and support.
I definitely do not believe we are limited to the tools listed above, as I am sure there are endless ways to achieve the goal of growth/healing/change… however, it is so critical for each of us to find the tools that work for each of us and then repeat repeat repeat. For me, I think it is a combination of finding the BEST tools for me, that feel most authentic, along with timing and motivation. I have SO. MUCH. DESIRE. and motivation and the will to practice each and every day.
The Complaint Free World is opening my mind to HOW VERY GUILT I am of frequent complaining, and I mean A LOT. Wow… it is teaching me HOW many of us use complaining as our primary form of communication, almost as if we don’t know any other way to connect. And, I don’t say this to beat myself up and sink into my emotional addiction of shame. I simply say it to notice and let it light a fire in my belly to step into something new. As the old saying goes “BE the CHANGE you wish to see… in the world”… So IF I want to see a more loving, positive, happy, joyful, embracing, playful world, then I absolutely have to start creating these traits within… AND while they are all absolutely already a part of who I am - it has become evident that the primary neurons firing in my brain are not of the above emotions - rather dominated by shame, sadness, fear, anxiety, angst, insecurity and more. MOST likely these mostly stem from childhood trauma and wounds, and since then have gotten stronger and stronger as they continue to wire and fire together over time as I fall back into the emotions, and relationship patterns that reinforce them. Considering this has been happening under the radar now for 39 years, creating a lasting change into something new will take commitment, focus, awareness and strong will, all of which I can proudly say I have now.
BRING IT ON.
So with that said, I am 100% excited and ready to embark on this 21 day complaint free challenge, to reprogram my way of thinking, communicating, relating, connecting, being, and manifesting. It is shown that it takes the average person anywhere from 4-8 months to actually complete a FULL 21 day NO complaint cycle. WOW! The idea is over this time though we will naturally become happier, and therefore healthier, and have a vastly differently outlook on life. Obviously the idea is to be as conscious and aware of the words that come out of my mouth as possible, and hopefully grow in awareness over time. To think before I speak, to learn to use my words wisely, and find new ways of relating. With that said, as I begin this journey, I am sure I will fumble, mess up (according to statistics) over and over and over again… And therefore, I need support & accountability - so EACH person in my life, has my permission to please -please please call me out in a loving way. IF you notice any form of complaint, gossip or negative comments escape my mouth, kindly stop me dead in my tracks. I understand this is a huge request, and I am gracious to each person who is willing to be bold enough to call me out and support me on this journey.
I also welcome anyone who is interested in BEING THE CHANGE to join me on this challenge… Let’s rewire together… because the positive force of 2 or 3 or more of us is always more powerful then the force of one. So IF you are ready to step into conscious awareness and be willing to learn about how you show up in the world and create positive changes within, then start with me TODAY! What better time that NOW :)
The idea is to grab a bracelet of some sort that you can get on and off easily… and EVERY morning it starts on one wrist - and EVERY time you or someone catches you in a complaint - you switch wrists. Every time you have a complaint in a day you start over at day 1 again tomorrow - but just because you have one complaint and have to start over doesn’t mean the rest of that day is a “free” day - it means keep switching wrists so you can become aware of HOW much you might actually complain and then celebrate the improvements over time!!!
Are you ready? IF so, message me and let me know so we can support each other! XOXOXOXOO
Cheers to Change <3
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