I’m not enough
I’m too much ...
What does it all mean!?!
“Completely conflicting beliefs - is this one big dream .. gone bad ... perhaps a nightmare....Wake me up - no joke - before I feel despair ... oh wait - I’ve already been there.”
Your too hyper - too happy - can you tone it down
Oh now stop you’re crying - Dry your eyes - your being dramatic
You are just a girl ....
You are so smart - all brains - it’s just easy for you - “what you don’t think I work hard??? - well I do”
And where did you come from, it sure wasn’t us ....
But be a good girl and do as you are told, don’t dare ask why... go ahead and try me - see what you get.
Sports, no silly girl you aren’t athletic - you lack coordination. You definely can’t dance - your poor thing - you got your dad’s lack of rhythm...and do yourself a favor and don’t ever sing.
Too whoo whoo too hippie ... cant take you seriously
Your opinion doesn’t count cuz your ideals are unrealistic
You just gonna be one of those educated bumms wasting your skill - will you ever grow up?
Your moving away ? Well we know you will be back - it’s too expensive out there - you won’t make it - you will never last.
Wait, You don’t want a 9-5 & you don’t work full time -you aren’t up at sunrise working until midnight? I will ask you again what are you even doing with your life?
Ohhhh well you must just be lazy - sleep is over rated - it’s for the weak...
Play is for kids, now be an adult. Figure out what your life is about!
“Oh and by life do you mean what soul sucking job I will do - that you approve - that takes all my time - and sucks me dry.... stay stuck in the drama cycle and feel the stress and complain and bitch and moan like all of the rest?”
This is what life’s all about don’t you know? What, you think you are better then us cuz you don’t want the same stuff?
“Well I have and I do what I want - I’m happy, abundant and have more then I need ... isn’t this enough? How much more should I want? Yes I would love eventually to earn even more money to give lots back and this day is not far ahead - trust me at that.”
No no silly girl money doesn’t grow on trees - in fact it’s the root of all evil - rich people steal - so don’t you dare earn it and be one of those people.
And your hair - it’s too short - short hair is for boys ... and would you ever put on makeup and dress yourself up? You mean your going out in what you are wearing? Your not gonna change? Your not even going to do your hair? Those eyebrows to thick too thin - can’t you get it right?
You know you are getting old quick - I hope you use face cream .... and do you wanna die alone? No one is perfect so you may as well settle...
Ugh no kids for you either - well that’s a misfortune - you selfish woman -you are missing out - you will never - could never possibly understand true unconditional love - this is something only a mother knows...
Oh you have a dog and you think you understand love? Silly girl a dog is nothing like a child - I should know.
“Apparently other people get to decide how we should, should not, could, or could not possibly feel ...
Suddenly we are put into some box that says well he believes it -so then it must be - it just must.”
Give your power away - trust me I say- I’m the expert - I know what’s best for you these days...
And don’t worry if it’s wrong you can rest knowing you are the victim no fault of your own -you can pass the blame along.
Let me tell you how you should live your life ... and if you aren’t -how you should feel and never mind how you think you feel - those feelings aren’t even real ...
You believe in what? Oh that nonsense shit - that again - oh please just sit.
Another book you are reading another class you take? All this spiritual self development it’s all just fake. You have been working on yourself your whole life - why the need - if it actually worked then maybe you would be someone else... and you wouldn’t need to keep reading more - never mind the fact it’s a lifelong journey ...
oh wait what? .... back track .... Who says it’s not about a destination?!?
I’m totally going to be happy when I get there. Get where you ask? You know .. there ... the place I’ve never been - but when - just when I do - you will see - I will truly be happy - follow me.... you know the saying ... misery loves me some company.
“Nah I think I’ll pass on all that .... I’m going to stay on my own path - it has led me beautiful places, always in the graces .... and I’m feeling love from the divine - my life is unfolding in perfect time.
Thank you for all the trials and tribulations - it’s all of this that I’ve gone through that makes me me - and as far as who I am - I’m as proud as can be. I stand firm in my truth - and celebrate joyfully ... so you do you...and I will do me.”
To my one and only true love
My dearest dear
I hold you near
I am sorry I have not always been there for you
I’ve turned my back on you
I’ve walked away from you
I’ve denied you
I’ve guilted, shamed & blamed you
Yes, it’s all true
But now is different I promise that
I see you - I honor you - I love you
And I will never take my love back
You are a gem- a shining light- a beautiful soul
I see how hard you have faught to be a good girl
But now it’s ok to be truest to you
Be an expression of the love that you are
Fear not my shining star
In doing so you get to be the change
That in this world is so deeply needed
Be the strength to hold the space
For others to also be their truest truth
Collectively making the world a better place
We are one yes- in some ways
we are a single link in the collective conscious space
You have your own unique blueprint - your gifts talents, & passion you get to share with the world
Within the collective 🙏🏼
I spoke a poem today
I spoke it out loud
I even spoke it to a tiny crowd
I was definitely nervous
But for what reason was I nervous?
What do I have to hide?
Am I not allowed to be humble & feel pride?
Do I fear being seen or heard ... or...
Judged from outside
I’m on a journey of self love
Connecting to my truest truth
Learning to be the best version of me
So then wouldn’t it make sense
That I could be willing to be
Open & vulnerable
Not worried about who sees
Or hears or if I offend
When I know I come from a place of only love in the end ❤️