There is this author/speaker, whom I really adore… His name is Bob Goff… His energy is contagious… he has this ability to just share his gift of love and zest for life every time I hear him speak, and through every word he writes.
There is this book he wrote called, Love Does. It is truly beautiful short book packed w/ so many gems and treasures… It is based on the premise that love is a verb, an action, a choice… When we choose to love someone (ourself included) we are making a choice, every day, every minute, over and over again. Sometimes we might not feel like it, but we do it anyways… because, well, that is what LOVE DOES.
So anyhow… like I said, this book is packed with little gems… so many good quotes I could go on for days… but rather I will just suggest you read it… and I will share just one with you today.
“I used to want to fix people, but now I just want to be with them.”
When I first read this quote years ago I loved it… but for some reason I always remembered it ‘incorrectly’… I remembered it as “I used to want to fix people, but now I just want to love them” Now I know that I always remembered it this way because subconsciously that is what I really needed to learn to do… and perhaps in actuality it is one and the same - the original quote and the way I remembered it. To be with them - to love them - what’s really the difference right?
You know what I learned when I finally had this realization? I learned that when I stopped wanting to fix everyone else… I got to spend a lot more time focused on myself… going inward… and seeing how the desire to fix everyone else was simply a mirror into my own pressure to always ‘fix’ myself, but it became a good distraction from this pressure… IF I was focusing on everyone else’s ‘shortcomings’, then I didn’t have to focus on my own.
Through this realization; however, I came to understand how IF I truly wanted to learn to just love everyone else, I had to learn to love me too. I had to learn that I wasn’t broken, that I didn’t need fixed, I just needed loved.
It’s quite amazing and beautiful how we are all so capable of rising into our greatness when we are truly loved, seen, heard, and accepted with compassion. So I set about a mission. For a year I was committed to not dating, not coaching, and not focusing on anyone but ME. It was my turn to finally go within, to see what I needed, and honor that truth. Along the way, I learned what truth was - MY truth… aligning more authentically to the me I was always meant to be. I learned all about my inner authority, setting boundaries, unapologetically, and doing the things that my mindbody & soul needed.
I was able to discover ALL the stories, personality traits, and belief systems that no longer serve me… But more importantly I was able to see how much pressure I put on myself subconsciously for so damn long, and feel how exhausting that might feel… and through this I learned what self compassion actually feels like… moments where I wanted to just hold the little girl inside and tell her “I am sorry. I love you. I see you. I hear you. I am here with you. You will never be alone again. I’m sorry I was so so damn hard on you”… and this compassion… well.. it set me free.
What I thought began as a journey to love the other, shifted into a reflection inward. What I then thought was a journey of healing physical pain and dis-ease… became so much deeper.. opening the door into my soul… into my inner knowing… into compassion, and allowing me to release that which no longer serves me to come more into self. To love the woman I see in the mirror… the little girl inside who has been so strong and got me to where I am today.
Am I done? My goodness, no… Nor will I ever be done… Healing is a life long journey, growth is a life long journey. I believe we are here as a spirit in this human experience to REMEMBER the truth of who we are… which is pure love. And in remembering we get to learn how to love again - love truly, fully, completely, and unconditionally. And love DOES… love is a verb…so we are never done… as long as we have breath, we have opportunities to love.
I also believe it is through our ability to love ourself and hold loving kindness & compassion for ourself that we can truly learn to love the other. Though, in this, through the love we have for ourself and boundaries, we can CHOOSE who we have to love from afar… I’m also learning I don’t have to love everyone… and if I don’t today, that is ok… I’m not falling short. Sometimes I think in the realm of spirituality we are just given more rules, more high expectations, more ways we convince ourself we are falling short. This is just one example, IF I find myself not liking or loving someone, am I wrong? bad? Do I go back into the judgements? The pressure? Or is it just flipping ok? I think it’s just OK.
So now where am I at? Now I have this absolute passion in my belly to not only continue to stay committed to honoring my boundaries, honoring my truth, leading myself with compassion, and spreading a message. I believe we are ALL self healers. We ALL have the power within to achieve anything we desire. We are ALL worthy of self love, compassion, healing & absolute well being. And I just hope and pray that over time I am able to spread this message through setting an example… and holding space for others to do the same. Let’s light this world up by allowing our lights to shine brighter… The world needs us ALL now more then ever!!!
While you do absolutely have the answers within YOU… we all do… I understand that sometimes we can feel lost, confused, or not know where to begin… so when you are ready to take your power back, when you are ready to choose to love yourself fully and completely (as a VERB), and shine your light… if you need support, encouragement, a friend, a hand to hold, or just a little guidance… just know that I am here. I am here in whatever way I can be, while still showing up for myself first. I am here. You are worthy. You are enough. You are a brilliant light inside waiting to shine.
Immediately as I arrive
What is the first thing I do?
I kick off my shoes
Hello, my free feet say
Greeting the bare Earth - yay!
The water looks like milky glass
So peaceful and still
The sky bright shimmering blue
The sun shines a golden hue
What to do next
I already know
I grab my paddle board
My music & some water will do
On the lake I am in my element
I casually paddle & sing out loud
I wiggle my booty
I even dance around
I am filled with radiant delight
I randomly laugh out loud
And I can't stop now
A belly laugh deep & ongoing
I feel connected to my inner knowing
Then I have a brilliant idea
I set my paddle down
Splash - I jump in the water
It feels absolutely divine
Refreshing in a magical way
Maybe I can just play ALL day
No hurry, no worry, no where to be
NO final destiny
Enjoying each moment
As it comes and goes
Being with the ebs and flows
Wow I love Mother Earth
I say a prayer of gratitude
A permanent smiling attitude
So easy to be my authentic self
Here in pure harmony
I stop. I pause.
I bask in the beauty all around me
I inhale LOVE deeply
I exhale completely
The healer in me
Sees the healer in you
Yes my dear it’s very true
You have indeed been lied to
We are taught in this culture
To give our power away
We are taught this every single day
That we must go to the “experts”
For they will know the truth we seek
Or the solutions we need
But this is false you see
The answer is within you and me
You ask “where do I even begin?”
Begin by looking within
The “experts” can definitely be valuable
There is a time and place
But the biggest truths, we already know
Stop giving your power away
Take it back - why not today?
To the doctors, the medicine world
We have been giving it away for way too long
But no more, not today, not in any way
You see we don’t always need this doctor, this specialist,
This prognosis, this medicine, these supplements,
Or this restricted diet
It’s all a hot mess
It’s a system that means well, I suppose
But it’s been making us more sick
It’s disempowering people and creating more internal chaos. Not
knowing anymore who or what we can actually trust
We get hopeful, excited & then let down
Because that pill wasn’t the solution after all
Or one pain goes away and another begins
Or the aching pain heals but stomach problems persist
We mistake what is common as normal,
Without realizing how good we could actually feel
You still aren’t sure where to begin
If you can’t find the answers you seek within
If you must look “outside” of self
Look up to the sun, the stars, the moon, & the sky
For we are made of the same cells
Our soul a fragment of the soul of our Mother, our Earth.
I promise you that if there is something chronic within
That more then likely the answer indeed begins also within
It’s an inside job: exploring the inner child, rewiring your brain Call me crazy - I get it - to some this will sound insane
But we loose connection to our inner wisdom
When for so long we are taught to give our power away
So again I say, take it back - Take it back today!
Because we are all self healing beings
It’s so very true
And the healer in me, sees the healer in YOU.
I’m not enough
I’m too much ...
What does it all mean!?!
“Completely conflicting beliefs - is this one big dream .. gone bad ... perhaps a nightmare....Wake me up - no joke - before I feel despair ... oh wait - I’ve already been there.”
Your too hyper - too happy - can you tone it down
Oh now stop you’re crying - Dry your eyes - your being dramatic
You are just a girl ....
You are so smart - all brains - it’s just easy for you - “what you don’t think I work hard??? - well I do”
And where did you come from, it sure wasn’t us ....
But be a good girl and do as you are told, don’t dare ask why... go ahead and try me - see what you get.
Sports, no silly girl you aren’t athletic - you lack coordination. You definely can’t dance - your poor thing - you got your dad’s lack of rhythm...and do yourself a favor and don’t ever sing.
Too whoo whoo too hippie ... cant take you seriously
Your opinion doesn’t count cuz your ideals are unrealistic
You just gonna be one of those educated bumms wasting your skill - will you ever grow up?
Your moving away ? Well we know you will be back - it’s too expensive out there - you won’t make it - you will never last.
Wait, You don’t want a 9-5 & you don’t work full time -you aren’t up at sunrise working until midnight? I will ask you again what are you even doing with your life?
Ohhhh well you must just be lazy - sleep is over rated - it’s for the weak...
Play is for kids, now be an adult. Figure out what your life is about!
“Oh and by life do you mean what soul sucking job I will do - that you approve - that takes all my time - and sucks me dry.... stay stuck in the drama cycle and feel the stress and complain and bitch and moan like all of the rest?”
This is what life’s all about don’t you know? What, you think you are better then us cuz you don’t want the same stuff?
“Well I have and I do what I want - I’m happy, abundant and have more then I need ... isn’t this enough? How much more should I want? Yes I would love eventually to earn even more money to give lots back and this day is not far ahead - trust me at that.”
No no silly girl money doesn’t grow on trees - in fact it’s the root of all evil - rich people steal - so don’t you dare earn it and be one of those people.
And your hair - it’s too short - short hair is for boys ... and would you ever put on makeup and dress yourself up? You mean your going out in what you are wearing? Your not gonna change? Your not even going to do your hair? Those eyebrows to thick too thin - can’t you get it right?
You know you are getting old quick - I hope you use face cream .... and do you wanna die alone? No one is perfect so you may as well settle...
Ugh no kids for you either - well that’s a misfortune - you selfish woman -you are missing out - you will never - could never possibly understand true unconditional love - this is something only a mother knows...
Oh you have a dog and you think you understand love? Silly girl a dog is nothing like a child - I should know.
“Apparently other people get to decide how we should, should not, could, or could not possibly feel ...
Suddenly we are put into some box that says well he believes it -so then it must be - it just must.”
Give your power away - trust me I say- I’m the expert - I know what’s best for you these days...
And don’t worry if it’s wrong you can rest knowing you are the victim no fault of your own -you can pass the blame along.
Let me tell you how you should live your life ... and if you aren’t -how you should feel and never mind how you think you feel - those feelings aren’t even real ...
You believe in what? Oh that nonsense shit - that again - oh please just sit.
Another book you are reading another class you take? All this spiritual self development it’s all just fake. You have been working on yourself your whole life - why the need - if it actually worked then maybe you would be someone else... and you wouldn’t need to keep reading more - never mind the fact it’s a lifelong journey ...
oh wait what? .... back track .... Who says it’s not about a destination?!?
I’m totally going to be happy when I get there. Get where you ask? You know .. there ... the place I’ve never been - but when - just when I do - you will see - I will truly be happy - follow me.... you know the saying ... misery loves me some company.
“Nah I think I’ll pass on all that .... I’m going to stay on my own path - it has led me beautiful places, always in the graces .... and I’m feeling love from the divine - my life is unfolding in perfect time.
Thank you for all the trials and tribulations - it’s all of this that I’ve gone through that makes me me - and as far as who I am - I’m as proud as can be. I stand firm in my truth - and celebrate joyfully ... so you do you...and I will do me.”
To my one and only true love
My dearest dear
I hold you near
I am sorry I have not always been there for you
I’ve turned my back on you
I’ve walked away from you
I’ve denied you
I’ve guilted, shamed & blamed you
Yes, it’s all true
But now is different I promise that
I see you - I honor you - I love you
And I will never take my love back
You are a gem- a shining light- a beautiful soul
I see how hard you have faught to be a good girl
But now it’s ok to be truest to you
Be an expression of the love that you are
Fear not my shining star
In doing so you get to be the change
That in this world is so deeply needed
Be the strength to hold the space
For others to also be their truest truth
Collectively making the world a better place
We are one yes- in some ways
we are a single link in the collective conscious space
You have your own unique blueprint - your gifts talents, & passion you get to share with the world
Within the collective 🙏🏼
Words are powerful
So be wise with what you think
And think before you speak
We think in words
And thoughts are energy
Though lead to feelings also known as emotions
Emotions are energy IN motion
Therefore the thoughts we think, create this energy in motion
The words we speak aloud envoke emotion
So then it seems important to me
To be very aware of the words we chant and speak - specially as a crowd
Because power in two is stronger then one
So chants done collectively
Carry intense energy
Think this sounds too “whooo whooo” for you
Look into it - cuz it’s honestly true
In a world that is built in so many lies
There is one truth that you can see with your own eyes
Quantum physics - it never lies
It’s the most reliable science
Just ask Dr Bruce Lipton, my fav 😉
And I have to say I believe in it too
Energy exists -it’s literally everywhere and in everything
From every word to thoughts to the mantras we sing and chant
So if there is even the slightest possibility this is the case
Wouldn’t it make sense to trust & embrace
If we are going to think and then speak and then create a feeling
We may as well make sure it has positive meaning
A lot more Focus on what we want to create
A lot less focus on what drives the hate
And continues to separate
So what if we start to say “we WILL breath” watch and see
In peace with justice we will be
Words spoken aloud or silently
Try it yourself
I promise if you quiet your mind
Get super present
Feel your body you will undeniable witness
The very difference
Two opposite mantras can create within and all around you
So let’s be powerful forces that only speak out loud bountiful, beautiful chants of what we want to manifest
Stand tall be proud with poise and confidence
This positive energy flowing will bring so much healing
Chant together I am I will I can we are we will we demand
United we stand
A powerful force that can’t be reckoned
As long as we speak love and stay connected
Focus on the world we WANT to see
Speak the truth of this new world unanimously
I’m excited for this truth to be known
And I’m thrilled to watch the beauty unfold
This calming sensation brings me back to my inner being, grounding me to the Earth, connecting me to the sky, centering me in truth...
Reconnecting to what was once lost in youth ...
My inner knowing - my connection to source, oneness, all that is, was, and will be
It helps me to see so clearly
The divinity in you - the divinity in me...
The way it’s always been meant to be
We spend our whole life growing - often away from our original knowing - until we get a glimpse again...
Now we know there is no end
A new beginning - we are on a quest ... settling back into who we be - who we have always been - stripping off the mask, we didn’t even know we had on all along...
Feeling so much freedom with it gone
Although it can be a bumpy ride - tears can fall as we strip the fears- moments we fall back into where we feel like we are loosing our self - or at least our friends, and all we have known up until this now...
Wondering so very often, how ?!?
Stepping out of a lifetime of deeply conditioned minds - but this ego inside is scared of this change - it wants so badly for us to stay the same-
It tricks us into believing the known is a better place to be - but when we finally strip ourselves of ego...
Then and only then are we truly free
Conscious Creatives- inner peace - a constant expression of love we get to see and be. A sacred light shared between you and me....
That is Source energy
So I have been reading this book lately called “A Complaint Free World” by Will Bowen & I LOVE IT! I have also been working on this dynamic neural retraining system by Annie Hopper that is a fabulous tool to practice daily to reprogram and rewire our brain. As Dr. Joe Dispenza always says, “Neurons that wire together fire together” … It has become extremely evident that our brain indeed has plasticity, meaning the ability to change. It is also known that we can’t change, grow or heal from within the same environment we got sick. Meaning, that whatever neurons are firing together to get us sick, has to be rewired into something new if we want to get well. So there are so many available tools these days to help us give our brain an upgrade. Whether it is the tools from the dynamic neural retraining system, bringing awareness to one’s self to become complaint free, meditation on rewiring the brain by elevating emotions, it all comes down to awareness & repetition. In addition, I believe that in order to maintain the necessary awareness and level of repetition it also requires a strong will and desire to change, grow and/or heal.
We have to trust that there is a better life waiting for us to tap into once we can create new pathways to access it. So many of us have so many negative emotions, negative mental loops, and negative habits that we aren’t even aware of. It is only through awareness can we ever step into the path of change. I know that our mind is a very powerful tool, and I truly believe through the power of accessing consciousness and staying in a state of awareness as often as possible that any healing is possible, both mental, emotional, and physiological…because it is ALL connected. However, this isn’t easy - again, it takes work - repetition - daily commitments, and support.
I definitely do not believe we are limited to the tools listed above, as I am sure there are endless ways to achieve the goal of growth/healing/change… however, it is so critical for each of us to find the tools that work for each of us and then repeat repeat repeat. For me, I think it is a combination of finding the BEST tools for me, that feel most authentic, along with timing and motivation. I have SO. MUCH. DESIRE. and motivation and the will to practice each and every day.
The Complaint Free World is opening my mind to HOW VERY GUILT I am of frequent complaining, and I mean A LOT. Wow… it is teaching me HOW many of us use complaining as our primary form of communication, almost as if we don’t know any other way to connect. And, I don’t say this to beat myself up and sink into my emotional addiction of shame. I simply say it to notice and let it light a fire in my belly to step into something new. As the old saying goes “BE the CHANGE you wish to see… in the world”… So IF I want to see a more loving, positive, happy, joyful, embracing, playful world, then I absolutely have to start creating these traits within… AND while they are all absolutely already a part of who I am - it has become evident that the primary neurons firing in my brain are not of the above emotions - rather dominated by shame, sadness, fear, anxiety, angst, insecurity and more. MOST likely these mostly stem from childhood trauma and wounds, and since then have gotten stronger and stronger as they continue to wire and fire together over time as I fall back into the emotions, and relationship patterns that reinforce them. Considering this has been happening under the radar now for 39 years, creating a lasting change into something new will take commitment, focus, awareness and strong will, all of which I can proudly say I have now.
BRING IT ON.
So with that said, I am 100% excited and ready to embark on this 21 day complaint free challenge, to reprogram my way of thinking, communicating, relating, connecting, being, and manifesting. It is shown that it takes the average person anywhere from 4-8 months to actually complete a FULL 21 day NO complaint cycle. WOW! The idea is over this time though we will naturally become happier, and therefore healthier, and have a vastly differently outlook on life. Obviously the idea is to be as conscious and aware of the words that come out of my mouth as possible, and hopefully grow in awareness over time. To think before I speak, to learn to use my words wisely, and find new ways of relating. With that said, as I begin this journey, I am sure I will fumble, mess up (according to statistics) over and over and over again… And therefore, I need support & accountability - so EACH person in my life, has my permission to please -please please call me out in a loving way. IF you notice any form of complaint, gossip or negative comments escape my mouth, kindly stop me dead in my tracks. I understand this is a huge request, and I am gracious to each person who is willing to be bold enough to call me out and support me on this journey.
I also welcome anyone who is interested in BEING THE CHANGE to join me on this challenge… Let’s rewire together… because the positive force of 2 or 3 or more of us is always more powerful then the force of one. So IF you are ready to step into conscious awareness and be willing to learn about how you show up in the world and create positive changes within, then start with me TODAY! What better time that NOW :)
The idea is to grab a bracelet of some sort that you can get on and off easily… and EVERY morning it starts on one wrist - and EVERY time you or someone catches you in a complaint - you switch wrists. Every time you have a complaint in a day you start over at day 1 again tomorrow - but just because you have one complaint and have to start over doesn’t mean the rest of that day is a “free” day - it means keep switching wrists so you can become aware of HOW much you might actually complain and then celebrate the improvements over time!!!
Are you ready? IF so, message me and let me know so we can support each other! XOXOXOXOO
Cheers to Change <3
#shift #loveyourself #loveyourselfenoughtogrowyourself #bebetter #complaintfreeworld #bethechange #growthmindset #rewireyourbrain #supportbuddiesarethebestbuddies #lifteachotherup #newyounewworld #wehavethepowertoheal #takeyourpowerback