Boundaries ... I think we all have them whether or not we realize what they are !!
It has taken me 38 years to learn what boundaries even are and I’m now on a journey of discovering what mine are - and more importantly how to honor and protect them. I feel this is a huge part of the self love journey.
On this trip I’m committed to honoring my boundaries, guilt free, no matter what ... I’ve not been perfect, but it’s getting easier with every passing day and week. My daily mantra is “to be unapologetically me” .... and what is me? Me could be different everyday.... or at least what I need can vary day to day.
In my awareness I am already noticing a few patterns that I’m able to quickly redirect myself out of ... but to be aware of my reactions and automatic initial habits and emotional addictions....
First, I notice that often I will have a boundary that I’m not acknowledging and I’m in a situation that makes me uncomfortable or upset and I’m quick to get frustrated - and project this frustration onto the other as though I’m stuck in it - when the reality is - I’m more upset with myself for not speaking up and expressing what I need and what isn’t working for me - and more importantly having the courage to walk away if we can’t find a mutual stomping ground.
However, I’m so excited to just be aware of this and be given multiple opportunities to make shifts in my reactions and altering the outcomes. I feel confident in my strength to now be aware of something that doesn’t feel right - ask self what it is - ask self how can I correct this or what can I do about it differently - ask self what positive is coming out of this - and then take action.....if necessary (when the benefits do not outweigh the cost or when we are dealing with a nonnegotiable), which leads me to the other awareness I have - my emotional addiction of guilt.
I find myself slipping quickly into guilt if I decide I need something to be different then what is and I have made a commitment already, for example, a period of time in a work trade, or if I’m in a group and we are trying to make plans and I decide to go a different direction ....
The thing is - both the anger at self projecting outward and the guilt - neither are self loving or compassionate or solution oriented .... and I’n learning to quickly realize this and work toward releasing these emotions and keeping my heart open - recognizing that whatever my needs are is ok - and I’m allowed to honor that first- especially because at no point is it ever harmful or hurtful to anyone else.
In this journey and exploration there is also this balance of learning where I can be more flexible... aka - what are my nonnegotiable boundaries - verse where can I be more flexible in life whereby going with the flow is actually more healthy for me - because growth does come from stretching ourself (often) into what is not comfortable .... while it can be a fine line, there is always a difference.
So these are the two main themes I’m noticing and just simply noticing. It’s just becoming so fun to be aware and curious - playfully challenging myself, my beliefs, and my needs, while practicing patience for myself and others as we navigate this journey of life, remembering the goal is not perfection but simply progress. #progressnotperfection #perfectlyjmperfect #growthmindset #loveyoself