Have you ever observed or experienced a behavioral trait or habit that was less then favorable in your eyes that you swore to yourself you would never adopt only to wake up one day and realize that you did have it?
A moment like this happened to me just the other day... It's amazing how we can find ourselves doing to others the very thing we can not stand having done to ourselves…
Lifelong habits, thought patterns and behaviors are hard ones to unlearn... But I have to believe it can be done - for my sake - and the sake of many others ....
Opinions… we all have them… some of us just find the need to voice them more then others… and often when not asked for… What I noticed for me was that sometimes it’s not in whether or not someone voices it, but how or why…Is it being voiced in a way that suggests it is superior to another opinion? Is it being voiced to prove a point? Does it come across self righteously? Or, rather, Is it spoken humbly?
These are the thoughts that run through my head when analyzing myself and how I generally deliver opinions… Cuz I know I have them - mostly they are opinions for my own life - but I fear that sometimes I might solicite them to others without the welcoming, although I have been actively practicing to ask if I can share it, I still have days I fail miserably in this attempt. My biggest concern is to make sure that I am never coming across as self righteous, as though my opinion is superior, because I know it’s not…It’s not my job to make anyone else feel small, especially when its my heart’s desire to lift people up, build them up, and love them regardless of indifferences of thought and action.
I personally know I have encountered a few people in my life who have an answer and opinion about everything, and I find myself resist engaging with these people, because it’s not fun… therefore, I don’t want to be like these people… Do onto others as we would want done to ourself… they say everyone comes into our life for a reason, if even to show you how not to be.. They say that people are reflections of ourself, that if we experience something in someone we don’t like, at a deeper level we have that trait within ourself as well. The same is true for things we like. We see someone’s capacity to love, inherently we have the capacity to love as well… We experience someone’s self righteousness, we can find it in ourself as well...
My goal is to recognize in myself what is not of me - and doesn't represent the life I want to live or the character I want to project... And then grow through it.... I know that if I'm particularly observant to how others actions make me feel - I can use that experience as a reflection tool to check in with myself and make sure that the said behavior or habit in the other person is not a behavior that I represent ..... People are mirrors and reminders of how we both want to be and not be - how we want to act and not act - and how we want to respond and not respond... So if we find ourself flustered with someone else's actions or behavior - perhaps - it would be best to stop and ask ourself "why does this bother me so much and do I ever do this to other people?" Likewise if we find ourself totally drawn to another person it's good to ask ourself if the qualities we are drawn to are qualities we possess and outwardly display toward other people in our life!
#bethechange #growth #intention #bebetter
Today I am about to embark on an entirely NEW adventure - one that pulls me so far out of my comfort zone in the gym…I am beginning a gymnastic program…. this is seriously out of my element - and it is only the beginning of what shall be a VERY long road ahead… My goal is to achieve mastery in every step along the way - therefore - I have NO idea how long this commitment might be…
Am I nervous? Yes... Do I feel lost and confused ? Yes… Is there going to be a lot of experiments and failures along the way? YES… Will the accumulation; however, of these failures ultimately lead to some level of success? YES... Am I excited? Absolutely…
This is going to be challenging me in so many different aspects.. I know weights - I love weights - I love lifting heavy, moving fast, working hard… this will be hard, no doubt- but a totally new kind of hard… a very unique different unknown hard for me. But its good to go head first into new... it can become way to easy and comfortable falling back on what we know rather then challenging the mind and body into the unknown. I already predict in the earlier skills that I will experience a host of emotions - feeling like I am not doing enough - yes even the girl who always says “less is more” is forever and always actually learning the concept… I foresee having moments where I will feel like my butt needs more… or my mind & body wants to cave and do what it knows - this journey is going to be mentally taxing and challenging… it will, no doubt, frustrate me - and I will have moments where I want to quit - moments where I question whether or not I’m good enough to accomplish the goals -bigger moments where I battle in my mind the ability to trust that I am worthy of accomplishing the outcome I am looking for - and at the same time being loosely attached to any specific outcome - knowing that all progress is progress, and it is more about what I learn in the process!
It's good for us to stretch ourselves outside of our comfort zones, to step into the unknown, to learn new things, to move our body in new ways, to remove limiting beliefs from our mind, to set new bigger goals that we never thought possible, to dream big, and to begin, one step @ a time, one day @ a time one moment @ a time, one progression @ a time...
I am ready & excited to take on a new type of challenge and all the trials I will experience along the way, while remembering to celebrate all the small wins, and have fun …because like everything in life - its always about the journey!!! :) I hope to intermittently write about the experience along the way …wish me luck!
I think it is great that so many of us are driven to always strive more more, to be better then we were, to be goal oriented, so set high standards of achieve me and to grow.... But as I've briefly written about before, this can sometimes back fire - when we focus so much on what we don't have, what we are not, and what we haven't accomplished, that we fail to see EVERYTHING we have....
Unfortunately in the world of fitness, especially as a coach, I see this all too often. Time goes by, and I see all of the many successes and reasons to celebrate that a client gets to goes through, but they often seem to forget. I hear how they still "feel" fat, or aren't strong "enough" yet, or sometimes still have things that hurt or a dysfunction or imbalance that isn't better (more on this later- but first let me address "celebrating the wins).
I have had clients walk into me who physically had no ability to air squat, let alone even grasp a hip hinge.... Who couldn't even touch toes, who had zero motor... I watch these same people progress- fast forward 1.5 years and I watch them move w ease and grace ... I watch them gain strength, increase their stamina, improve their motor and do it all way more efficiently... I see so many wins - and while as a coach it is my job to remind them of these successes and these wins- they have to be willing to see it for themselves as well... And it breaks my heart when I have people who have blinders on that I can't break through- they get lost in the shuffle - they get overwhelmed by how far they still want to go or think they "have " to go, loosing motivation, and this can lead to them loosing the value in the discipline of what we do, and ultimately quit.... But if only they could recognize the value that has been building up in their commitments.
It reminds me of the compound effect.... I think this is the very reason sometimes people end up quitting ... They don't see the true positive impact something has on their life. Let's take exercise, aka movement, for an example - since it is the root of the conversation here.... Someone, depending on their lifestyle, comes into gym for a group class or personal training session 3x/week.... (Side note: while that seems like a descent amount, and it is, this still only accounts for less then 2% of their total time in a given week... more on this later) So 3 hours per week of moving their body around, which there is no denying is good for us... How many hours is that in a year? 156!! That's right - that client got to move his or her body for 156 hours more that year then she may otherwise have done.... And tack on learning proper movement and body mechanics to stay safe, while mitigating the risk of injury, it's undeniable better then the alternative.... What about year two? 312 hours of moving? Year 3? 468 hours? The whole concept of the compound effect is that when we initially do something, be it a discipline, a healthy habit, a positive thought, movement, or saving $$ the short term results are nominal ... But the long term results yield a huge rate of return on investment...
But in our society we look for the quick fix or instant gratification. And, with many things, but particularly in this case, movement, since this is what we are talking about, often there can be a very long learning curve, which means that the results of these exponentially high expectations we place on ourselves can often come even later, as depending on your movement experience, we might spend a year just rebuilding a foundation, a safe platform to work from and teach the fundamentals... It takes time for your body to unveil hidden dysfunction or deficiency- it takes time to rebalance imbalances while strengthening weakness...oh and need I mention that with movement there is ALWAYS inherent risk of injury... The goal is to learn proper and safe mechanics to reduce that risk as much as possible... And, this is the even more important factor - which is to not only learn it for safe moving in the gym or in the exercise program- but in life - because as mentioned above, isn't the 3 hours a week client only truly in the gym for less then 2% of her life??
So this poses an even bigger question then, which is: what are they doing the other 98% ??? Because while those 3 hours /week amount to significant time spent over the long haul, the 98% or other 165 hours MATTER! Therefore, the 3 hours in and of themselves will not provide miracles. A coach can only provide the recipe, the tools & the encouragement - what the client does in their other 165 hours with that knowledge - is ultimately up to them. And this is where lifestyle factors come into play. Therefor making the clients commitment to exercise not fool proof. Tight hips? You spend 5 minutes stretching them in class then sit for 8 hours that day? Add slouching over or leaning into computer to type? Rounding back to pick up that light bag? Not conscious of posture and trunk stability? Think about breathing into diaphragm as a ritual or practice? All of these and so many other factors play a role in the outcome of someone's success...
Begin your exercise program excessively tight ? Do you do the recommended mobility for 10 minutes per day every day that the coach recommends? If you do have to sit for work do you remember to get up and move around for 5 minutes every hour to get your blood flowing?
All this little stuff helps... And it also adds up, and often to get the true results we are all looking for its crucial... However, with that said, even if someone is not going to do ALL the extra stuff, it's not reason to stop moving all together - because those 3 hours a week - in and of themselves will still yield greater results then not working out at all.
Hope this makes sense and resonates with some of us!
And because we are all works in progress, in these thoughts, I've realized how I could use a little more intentional movement in my life, and have made a personal commitment to set aside 30 extra minutes per day, 3 additional days per week for movement, play, and mobility in my own life - to yield greater returns on my investments to my wellness :) Who is on the journey with me?