Wow... I have been on a hiatus.... And as much as I would love to say I am back for good - I am not sure I can make that promise... but what I can say is that someone asked me a question last night that sent my mind spinning through so many thoughts I had no choice but to write it all down and organize my mind for more clarity... and so why not share...
The question was:
“Why do you do this work (coaching/training)? Whatever your answer is, ask yourself, ‘why’ again? And then, ‘why’ again?”
Immediately a million thoughts started rushing through my mind... I have so many reasons why... and then I start to think of them all and play it back in my head.... It takes me all the way back to the beginning when I first started coaching, which led me to think about the reasons that used to be why. While there are some underlying reasons that are definitely still congruent today as back then, there are many more reasons that vastly differ. The more I thought about this question the more eager I was to write it all down and share the whys today, but it would be unfair for me to not be honest enough with myself (as an opportunity to grow), and to those I share with, to leave out the whys from the past... to explain the evolution, and the reasons for it. The truth is - this question took me back, and forced me to get really honest with myself. Sometimes in life, we learn things about ourself in times of reflection, that maybe we really don’t want to know - because it is embarrassing to think about, and even more embarrassing to share. Maybe we are ashamed of our actions, or our motifs behind actions, or the driving force... but the truth is - we often need this reflection to see exactly how far we have come - the distance we have travelled, and the change that has occurred. In my situation it was important for me to scan the whole spectrum of whys, so that I can see the great work that God has done in me, because I owe my growth and evolution to no other than HIM.
Several years ago when I first started coaching, one main reason for doing so, was pure love for fitness, and the idea of it. I was extremely passionate about the body and movement and exercise from a very young age. This hasn’t changed, it has only evolved and become more expansive. It was something I enjoyed for myself, enjoyed sharing my excitement and passion with others, and by doing it for work, it didn’t interfere with my ability to stay committed on my personal fitness journey. This still holds true today, although my passions have expanded exponentially, which is a direct correlation with the whys of the past that no longer coincide with the whys of today.
So, now for the second main reason I did what I did (once upon a time), and the more embarrassing reason, if I am just being bold enough to be speak bitter truth, is that it filled my ego. I struggled most of my life with feelings of insecurity, not being good enough, not being worthy, lacking value. I found something that I absolutely loved, that I was passionate about, and that just made sense to me, and was easy to learn because of my inquisitive nature and eagerness to learn about something that I loved so much. So I started teaching it. Having knowledge or abilities with something that not everyone had gave me a reason on the training floor to be important, gave me value, worth, and gain respect. I got to be the person who was “a good coach” who would “kick their butts” who would provide “awesome workouts”, who had “cool programs”, who “knew her stuff”, who “was different”....
The thing is, filling the ego and the void that my insecurities left me with was only the initial gusto that got me into the swing of things - it wasn’t enough to keep my momentum moving forward. The reality is - I wanted more - so much more - and I wanted to give other people so much more. Initially I often still felt empty, there was always still a void... My passions where so much deeper then the “surface stuff” ... I wanted to truly help people, I wanted to change lives, I wanted to add value to other’s lives, I wanted to help people achieve real health. I always knew that I wanted to facilitate positive social change and I finally found my outlet to do so: health & fitness. What did that even look like? I didn’t really know - but I was determined to find out. It was then that the fire in the belly turned into giant flames. It drove me to study more, read more, watch more, learn more, do more, experiment more, try harder, and with that the motifs started to change as well. In all fairness, looking back, as embarrassing as it is to admit where the initial drive came from, I can’t regret it - because it was that initial drive that got the ball rolling and from that experience was the emergence of my burning desire to evolve, to grow, and to be better, which all helped lead me to the place I am today.
I believe that we all have a purpose in our lifetime on Earth. I believe that God has a plan for each and every one of us. We were all given a unique set of gifts, talents, and passions to use for the greater good. However, if we abuse our bodies, and end up sick and/or in poor health then we greatly limit our abilities to thrive and use these gifts that God intended us to use. We were given ONE body, it is our God given temple, we can either fuel it with love, nurture and prolong the effects of aging to truly experience the most value in life, or we can abuse it and break it down, increasing the effects of aging, leaving us in a state of despair, pain, sickness, and lacking health. It is pretty hard to accomplish great feats when we can’t get past the everyday aches and pains. Therefore, I believe that health is truly everything - because without it, we really have nothing.
I believe that part of the gifts, talents, and passions God has gifted me are deeply intertwined to health & fitness. I have an undying desire to truly help people in this facet of their lives. My desire is so much bigger and deeper then providing a “sweaty workout” or helping someone just “get skinny”. I believe that in the fitness industry we are at the HUB of wellness. Through one’s fitness journey we have the ability to help someone find balance in mind, body & spirit, which is all equal parts of health & wellness. I also believe that of any health & wellness sector, we have the most impact in change. Most people initially start in the fitness side of things when they set a goal to obtain health. From here we can make necessary recommendations to seek out other types of care and professional guidance, on an as needed basis. We can impact nutrition, we can provide emotional support. I also believe that we have the capacity to help people break through mental barriers in the gym, which can transfer to other areas of life, and strengthen confidence levels all around.
My why is because I care. I truly want to help as many people as possible by helping them to discover their true potential, discover what feeling great actually feels like, discover how strong and amazing and beautiful he/she actually is. I want to help instill in their hearts a deep level of self actualization around self love and compassion for self. I believe inside and out 1000x over again that true lasting change has to occur from a place of love and nurture. It breaks my heart when I see people who do things from a place of disgust or hate - who restrict themselves from eating because they are unworthy, or who then eat super crappy as a way to spiral into a vicious downward cycle, or who push their bodies day in and day out through hell because they hate themselves or are unhappy with their bodies and they feel that is what they deserve. I found God over 1.5 years ago and through HIM I was able to find my worth, my value, my deep desire to nurture my body. To fuel it with the foods that serve it, to train it to move optimally and efficiently, and to use training as a physical platform to practice pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, and as an ongoing self experiment to constantly evolve my knowledge base of what I can pass forward. Now I want to give back to other people, and help them find their place.
Ultimately my “why” is for HIS glory. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for God. I wouldn’t have this ongoing desire in my mind to constantly learn, grow, evolve if it weren’t for God placing the desire in my heart. And I wouldn’t have this burning fire in my belly to truly help other people change their lives, to regain their health, to build their confidence, to reach their full potential, to tap into their unknowns, to discover their inner beauty, to realize their greatness, and to be able to fully utilize their God given gifts, talents, and passions for the greater good.
All of us have been given something, and only one thing is important to God-- faithfulness to what He has given us and called us to do.
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:
~1 Peter 4:10
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
~ 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20
*****Why do you do what you do? If you are open to share - I would love to hear! <3