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I’m grateful for the breeze and trees
The ocean and fun The beach and the sun The water and the land My toes digging in the sand The moon and the stars The places near and far The people that touch my heart Life from the very start The aches and the pains The happy and the joy The essence of a child when she gets a new toy Clothes on my body Hair on my head So very grateful for the comfiness of a bed All the love in the world My mind and soul I’m grateful for the questions I ask The curiosity I can’t forgo Nature in all its beauty The constant gifts from god The earth and her majesty even a grey rain cloud The songs the birds sing The moments to just be The love that is growing within me
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 Wow so close to the end ... but really it is only the beginning .... my last week synopsis of how I “stayed fit” while traveling...... Mind: Enjoyed ample time spent in stillness indulging in quality reads .... read a new book by a new author and felt like I’m on the same path of her in a parallel universe. Spent ample time in connection with beautiful women - inside and out. Truly connecting at a heart and soul level - no fear of being 100% real and who we are ... knowing we are accepted no matter what. Body: Spent every day engaged in a ton of walking, hiking, and biking. Plus made sure each day to do some variety of dynamic stretching or movement and joint articulations..... Made sure as often as possible to feed my body nutrient dense amazing food - bright and colorful veggies, fruit and superfoods. Also, create space, always guilt free, to indulge in the taste of something extra delicious - like a raw cacao bowl, or a homemade dessert. Every time I eat something special or delectable I do it with mindfulness - taking it in savoring one bite at a time. Also made sure to take plenty of time for rest and restoration!!!! Soul: Spend time in total silence- stillness everyday with universal truth ... with earths energy beneath my feet, or under my back. Focusing on Gaia, focusing on source, focusing on oneness. Asking for truth, asking for intuition, asking to be open to both giving and receiving. To grow in my relationship with myself which is the best gift I can give the world. As I’ve said before, fit to me isn’t just about our body and exercise - it is fit for life - fit in mind, body and soul. We are the collective of it all, not just a part. I can’t be fit in one area without being fit in ALL areas. This trip has been filled with fun workouts, dynamic movement, learning new things, lots of rest, great books, daily meditation, Reiki healing energy, connection with other beautiful souls and Mother Earth. This trip has been filled with authentic cuisine, healthy eats and delectable goodies. It’s been so fun to get creative in move with my body or rely only on what extra tools I have at any given moment - to make due with what I had rather then worry about what I did not... I look forward to incorporating so many of these principles into life moving forward while traveling... whether home or on the road. This trip has been blessing after blessing and lesson after lesson. This fit journey is only the beginning - there is no ending!!! ❤️ #growthmindset #shiftfitness #awareness #mindfulness #becurious #selflove #chooselove #loveyoself #compassion #embraceyourauthenticity #runninginto #innersize #mindbodysoul #whatif #whatcouldhappenif #goslow #bestill #lookwithin #meditation #itsalwaysagoodtime #dolessbemore #lookup #begrateful #mentalhealth #itsajourney #universalmagic #energyinenergyout #nothingtoprove #nomask #nogoals #surrender #beyou #playmore #movement #progressnotperfection #babysteps #morelove #healingenergy  *** The image above is of an ordinary couple I saw on the beach. I don’t know them, but moments before and after this picture were filled with laughter and expressions of their love, even as they got a surprise visit from a high tide wave coming in. Just watching the two of them interact touched me in a way to capture the essence in photo. ***
“Joy comes to us in moments - ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we are get too busy chasing down the extraordinary. “ Brene Brown As my trip is coming close the end... I have been reflecting much (hahaha what’s new) . The quote from above instantly stood out to me in a book I have most recently been reading that truly encompasses and sums up the most profound moments of joy on the road..... THE PEOPLE ... the people we meet along the way, the connections, the conversations... once, before I traveled I would have thought it was the beauty we discover in places, or the adventure thrill seaking activities we encounter... everyone is always out chasing the extraordinary- thinking that it’s about looking for that next world wonder ... jumping off the next cliff .... maybe for some people this is where they find their most joy, but for me, and most people I’ve been blessed to truly connect with along this journey, we agree it’s always about the people .... I love how this one guy I met described his experience of this, “I’m a traveler and I hunt for treasure,” he said, “The people are the treasure”. This response sang to me, because it is so true. I have been blessed along these roads with some wonderful people and amazing connections. I have learned so much about myself through these interactions on so many levels ... I have had to also acknowledge and notice how there are so many people on this journey that I have truly connected with that at home I probably would have never engaged with or even taken the time to get to know - which has really humbled me on a new level and forced me to look within and be curious as to why this is so. I feel like there is (not always) but often a common thread amongst fellow travelers - and getting outside of our everyday routine where we are surrounded by people out of their everyday routine we have so much more opportunity to allow the flow of new connections to come through. Also, we are more open to connection, because if not, we are otherwise alone (which is a whole other awesome topic & amazing part of my travel). It’s not only the fellow travelers though - it’s all the local people we meet along the way, so many people from so many different cultures and ways of doing things - but then we learn how connected we are by the essence of being human. We may all have different lives on the outside - but we all have the same struggles on the inside - we share the same feelings like pain, sadness, and happiness. We can communicate without words, as well as feel heard, seen and understood. So in essence I would say it is what on the surface seems the most originate moments that become the most extraordinary experiences, connections and memories. ❤️🙏🏼 You know the ever popular saying & IG hashtag #liveyourbestlife ... what does that mean for you? Have you ever really sat with that thought, that curiousity, pondered that question? It’s hard to #liveourbestlife if we don’t know what it even means to ourself. This trip has really helped me get a little more clear with each passing day what my best life means to me.
For the last two weeks I had the pleasure of experiencing travel with a girlfriend. A wonderful soul of a lady whom I met along the way, several months ago in my first 10 days of travel. We were on different physical paths, but very similar spiritual, if you will. We stayed connected, and intermittently ran into each other, but our schedules finally intertwined. And for what was the last couple weeks of her trip, we reconnected and traveled side by side. This, I learned, has MANY benefits ... it takes a load of anxiety out of long public transportation travel days, when you have each other to navigate and keep company. It’s lovely to know you always have a friend to enjoy a great meal with. It’s cost effective to split private rooms and costs of transport. And it filled my soul in its own way through endless hours of beautiful uplifting conversations intermixed with tons of moments of just being two girls, giggling endlessly @ silly little jokes and moments. I was lucky that her and I have very similar travel styles, likes and dislikes, and a need for active lifestyles equally balanced with rest and relaxation. We both have a love for health nourishment and an occasional splurge, on a shared piece of quality cheesecake. We both loved ample time spent in nature... so truthfully every moment of our time spent was amazing!! We parted ways this morning and said goodbye - goodbyes to someone wonderful is never easy, but today it was ok - for both of us I know - because saying goodbye gives us each just the right amount of time to end our trip with time spent in our aloneness... see we both had a blast together and really valued and appreciated every minute of it, but even talked about how very special it is to truly appreciate our time spent alone as well. There is so much beauty on the road as a traveler, between the natural ens and flows to travel life - time spent in extroversion, time spent in introversion. I’ve heard many people struggle with the time spent alone, feelings of loneliness creep in. However loneliness and aloneness are not one and the same. How special it is when we can reach a place in our lives where we equally value and find sacred our time spent alone, with ourselves. And I am reminded of how much I’ve come to love my own company, and I’m grateful I like me. I’ve been in this journey learning to truly love me, at a deep subconscious soul level, but realize that already at least I really like me. I’m fun (in my own kind of way, not all agree nor do they have to), I’m deep... and I enjoy many things... I enjoy my time in solitude to be introspective, to write, to read, to learn, to contemplate. I enjoy time in stillness just staring into the clouds, into the trees, or listening to the birds. I enjoy knowing I can lay in a hammock for hours if I see fit, and jump up any minute I want to and go move. I enjoy listening to my body and moving it in just the right way without worrying about having to match someone else’s physical needs or desires. I love being able to tune in and eat in specific patterns at specific times when it feels just right. And I love a load of creative outlets and activities that @ once I thought I enjoyed more with people and now realize that my creative capacity is 10 fold when I tap into it alone. I love being challenged and forced into less then comfortable situations with encourage me to expand and grow. So while saying goodbye to a friend today was not with a feeling of sorrow, saying hello to JUST ME today was filled with JOY. I’m so thrilled to just focus on myself, and spend quality alone time engaged in the essence of who I am -honoring and nurturing my mind, body and soul, every moment of every day. #livingmybestlife .. it’s being in tune and connected ... it’s honoring my truth... it’s loving who I am ... it’s liking time well spent with myself... it’s being surrounded by beauty and looking up... it could be occasionally moving fast but also slowing down.... its nourishment... its excitement ... its exploration... its acceptance ... it’s gratitude ... it’s curiosity... it’s abundance ... it’s solitude ....it’s connection ... it’s appreciation... it’s breath... it’s meditation... it’s giving and also receiving... it’s doing ... but more importantly it’s being. I’ve found someone - an author /speaker- who really resonates with me .... like I can’t even put to words how much she speaks to me and when I read her books or listen to her talks - I feel heard - understood - I feel like she took the deepest feelings and fears that I struggle with, and pulled them out of my mind into words herself. It’s wild... her name is Brene Brown. She is a shame researcher... she writes and speaks about shame - she also writes and speaks about vulnerability - and wholeheartedness.
I’ve known for a while now that I’ve had some struggles with deeply rooted feelings of shame - but I couldn’t understand them or pin point them in order to allow them to express themselves to release them ... but until I read her books - I didn’t realize how deep this issue really was...and it runs deep.... WOW. She writes about how it’s a topic we are all afraid to write or talk about, and I notice the resistance I have even as I write or say the word, myself. It’s crazy. But it’s there - I’ve know based on some physical ailments I have struggled with that the underlying emotional connection is often shame, but I struggled to fully grasp or connect with shame - until I understood shame and what it actually is - how it looks - the ways it shows up - and how it physically feels - and WOW. I have a ton more exploring to do - but I like where this is going - I admittedly realize it’s a way bigger issue in my body then I previous suspected ... it has opened my mind to soooooo much about myself and the areas I still have room to grow - it has helped me identify these areas for the first time and understand myself in a way I’ve never been able to before. I’ve reflected on so many ways I’ve brought shame into ALL of my close relationships - but didn’t even know that is what I was dealing with until now ... but this is good. This gives hope - this is guidance - this shows there is light - a different way - the possibilities .... She has studied shame @ least 12 years and she believes it’s a silent epidemic - and correlates shame and our societal lack of vulnerability as a major culprit for much of our pain and disconnection... we ALL have and suffer from various levels of and forms of shame - but rarely do we feel comfortable to see it, acknowledge it, label it and definitely not talk about it ... but I refuse to just get by in life - I refuse to allow unnecessary suffering, I refuse to die at some later tomorrow the same person I am today, with the same struggles - and I refuse to avoid ever allowing myself to experience truly deep, open meaningful connections, so I’m going to talk about it ... because connecting heals. We need to talk about it - we need to be there for each other - and we all need to feel seen and heard. I want to open the door and create space for other people to feel safe to explore this topic in their world too. I want to be there for people I love and care about ... as I hope I can count on them to be there for me .... we don’t have to stay stuck in a loop or cycle ... there is another way, a better way. So I’m excited to just keep delving into her research, her work, her wisdom, but most importantly to go within and delve into what I know to be one of the biggest sources of my pain and unpack it - and make a daily practice - one day at a time - one choice at a time - of choosing to be wholehearted... its a muscle we have to flex everyday.... If this resonates with you - let’s chat ... or if you aren’t ready to talk about it, pick up one of her books - and see what happens. If books aren’t your thing - look up her Tedx talk on you tube - it’s only 18 minutes of your life ❤️ xoxoxoxxo I’m so thrilled to say that my commitment this last week to my fitness was to make a conscious choice to NOT do a workout.... For once, I had no pressing injury, ache, or pain that led me to this choice- just a subtle request from my body that I know has been lingering asking me to go slow... asking me to not focus so much on just exercise .... so rather then wait until it gave me a reason to “slow down” I figured I might just try and see what happens if I listened to its kind request, and I made a choice for the last 8 days to not exercise.
Does this mean I didn’t move? Or engage in movement? Absolutely not.... but I didn’t engage in planned workouts, or any physically demanding and stressful activities. Rather, I spent time relaxing, did a ton of walking (as it was my only means of transportation), learned a new art (Qi Gong), explored a Kundalini yoga class, and participated in a cacao ceremony (focusing on my mental fitness aka vulnerability practice🙄😉❤️). Wow it feels liberating - it was crazy to just be really observant and notice HOW many times the “I SHOULD” workout came up in my mind - or the “omg your gonna get fat right before you go home” or the “you are being lazy”, self talk... it was often!!! 😳 ... and each time I was able to remind myself what I “should” do is listen to my body and be ok with walking the talk, and by talk I mean - staying truly committed to my health and overall well being -rather then obsess over my weight or the prospect of gaining a pound. It’s amazing how fast old habits, old thought patterns, and old ways of being creep in - reminding you they aren’t so old. The struggle is real.... old habits die hard - but this was an awesome mental “exercise” to learn a little bit more about myself and what stories still have a grip on me. It felt so good to be able to stand up for myself against those stories and remember that is ok to take a few conscious days off - it’s ok to just walk for movement - it’s ok to just move my joints w/o adding in 100 squats ... and hell its actually going to be ok if I gain a pound. I really am committed to learn to love all of me - and without these insane expectations of how I should be - to love and honor the truth of what my body needs. I’m sick of comparing myself to everyone else - thinking “oh why do I need to slow down- why do I need extra rest - am I just weak or lazy .... so and so does it.” I’m sick of worrying about every pound or 1/4” on my body.... I know I love and care for myself enough that I wouldn’t let myself go on a bender and treat myself like shit through stagnant behavior and nothing but poor food choices - so I must stop letting it have such a strong hold on me in that subconscious mind. I came on this trip to help develop a stronger relationship with knowing myself, loving myself and honoring my truth.... and I think I’m seeing all the ways I was still saying “I will love you IF”. I see all the ways my young adult mindset still creeps in and haunts me- judges me - challenges me - compares me ... and I know the ways my heart hurts when I see other women do this to themselves; and I understand the only way I can hold space for them to learn to love all of themselves, is for me to learn to do the same. ❤️🙏🏼 #growthmindset #shiftfitness #awareness #mindfulness #becurious #selflove #chooselove #loveyoself #compassion #embraceyourauthenticity #runninginto #innersize #mindbodysoul #whatif #whatcouldhappenif #goslow #bestill #lookwithin #meditation #itsalwaysagoodtime #dolessbemore #lookup #begrateful #mentalhealth #itsajourney #universalmagic #energyinenergyout #nothingtoprove #nomask #nogoals #surrender #beyou #playmore #movement #progressnotperfection #babysteps #morelove #healingenergy  Wow ... it’s been a while since I’ve sat down and put the pen to paper - but I suppose that’s because I was busy living ... not to say I’m not living when I’m writing - but a different kind of living ... in every facet of life there is a natural energy and flow ... whilst traveling I don’t so much force the alone time or the connection .... I just let it happen - I find moments of introversion and periods of lots of alone time that is just naturally created ... and then there are periods where the opportunities to connect just flow through ... so I guess the last few weeks I’ve been connecting - living - processing with others ... today I write. So I spent a long time today on a beautiful bus ride and had such a blast from my past - but more then that - I had a flood of beautiful memories - happy tears - sad tears - it’s crazy because I always joke that I don’t know where my life has gone - but thank god for photos, to remind me!!! In an attempt to look for a very specific photo I ended up skimming through the last 10 years of my photos ... and it brought so much joy back... it helped remind me how beautiful my life has already been - so very worth living.... the 10.5 years with my Mowgli Monster were the happiest joyful loving growing years of my life - he was my best friend and my teacher of life and love... but it wasn’t just him ... in that time span I was also filled with so many friendships, relationships, laughter, silly moments, amazing music, connection, color, art, dance, hobbies, exploration, travel, nature, late night, great food, and so so so much more. Looking over these photos was a reflection of not only my life lived but an expression of who I am - and it was really beautiful. I know I’ve often struggled with the “not enough” syndrome - not enough life lived , not enough difference made, not enough depth of love, not enough ... not enough .... but the photos are such a good reminder and proof of ALL the wonderful ways it was ENOUGH! When people ask why I’m still single I always sarcastically respond “because I was busy wasting too much time with all the wrong men” - though now I realize this couldn’t be further from the truth. I spent the right amount of time with exactly the right men, for me. Because while there was definitely no shortage of pain, sadness, tears, and reliving my old emotional patterns and addictions, there was also immense joy, laughter, fun, growth and so much more positives. With each passing day I let go of the story in my head that we are meant to be in this one perfect beautiful relationship with one person and that if we aren’t then we failed - if a relationship doesn’t last a lifetime it isn’t a failure- it’s still a success if I learned and grew from it - it’s just a complete relationship. Not every relationship is for life - as the classic old saying goes - some are for reasons or seasons - this is so very true. I always knew I wanted to travel - when I made the choice to be a dog mom - I accepted and was happy with the choice to have that chapter to my life, knowing the travel and world exploration chapter would come. Even though I was always happy, I always had this little voice that said “what if.... (you regret this order or not traveling sooner...) but not for one minute to I regret my choices and the order of my life, because I always knew the opportunity to explore the world would come. And truth be told, while I am in love with this experience on the road, and it challenges me, grows me, and fills me, I wouldn’t give up one day of my life with Mowgli for any extra amount of time or experience traveling .... This experience is beautiful, and I am so grateful to be having this opportunity, and it has only made me even more grateful for the life I have already lived, for the people I have loved, for my home I have chosen, and for every single second I spent as Mowgli’s mom, being with him. And when I think of this I am so grateful and happy it brings tears to my eyes .... because ultimately I know that if today I were to take my last breath, I made a difference, I loved, I have grown, and best of all, I have truly lived. Thank you Mowgli for teaching me how to truly love & live - I know you are with me every day on this journey called life, even now, just looks & feels a little different. ❤️ #forevergrateful #myonetruelove #alwaysinmyheart #travel #exploretheworld #thrivedontjustsurvive #perspective #shift #loveofmylife #mybestfriend #alwayslearningalwaysgrowing #myheartiswhole #selflove #journey  |
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