Hi, I'm Just Chaz.... A simple girl with a complex mind - trying to simplify my life…and my mind. I spent the better part of my life as my worst enemy, my biggest critic (as many of us do). It led me through many years of emotional highs & lows, ups & downs, a host of physical issues, and increasing stress and anxieties. IN the last decade I have been extremely committed to discovering a new way to live. At about 28 I knew enough was enough.. and I started my quest, or should I say rollercoaster ride!
Never ever did I think it would have flowed the way it has into what it has but it has been a challenging and beautiful ride. What started out as a quest simply to get out of physical and emotional pain, where I began exploring many facets of physical health and fitness, has shifted into this complex, life long spiritual journey and commitment to developing a truly loving relationship with myself. I say life long, because I am only on the cusp, and while excited, I know it is a journey until my last breath and that it will never “perfect”. And, that is more then OK.
I know sometimes when we are in the middle of something it might not make sense and we can be on a path and in the present moment we might not see how it aligns or what it aligns to or what is to come - but looking back on the last 10 years it all makes wonderful sense -the layers of this journey, the discoveries, the pain, the tears, the joy, the many many lessons, the knowledge gained…
While spending the better part focused mostly on the physical aspect of health, I have come to understand how incredibly interwoven our mind-body- and spirit health is all intertwined. I can’t experience health in one area without health in all areas. I have also come to understand HOW much of what appears as physical symptoms is emotional by nature. And so in this quest to heal my physical - I have discovered that the biggest missing piece is a healthy relationship with ME, a loving relationship with myself.
It is one thing to say consciously that we love ourself, it is another to feel that love at our core, and to truly act in love everyday… I mean - love is a verb after all.
My journey has definitely been a very interesting one with twisting winding and often backtracking or dead end roads - I suppose that is called LIFE :) Sometimes when we are in a growth phase we learn and practice some shit, and it serves us for a while, but ends up also hurting us as well. Then we reach a point we might have to back up and switch gears, change directions, reroute… I can’t tell you how many times in my attempts to be healthier I actually made myself more sick, or traded one problem in for another, because of how strict and overly disciplined I would be with myself, therefore adding only more layers of stress and anxiety to my already overactive anxious nervous system. With that said, I also had many wins, where I felt great success and improvement in my well being. Life is anything but linear, as is our spiritual or personal growth journeys.
There are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many endless people and businesses and systems out there telling us how to live our life, what it means to be healthy, what we can and can’t eat, how to move, what to do, what not to do, and what causes cancer (myself included - as my professional journey has also evolved as my personal journey - they are completely intertwined and can not be separated)… All of this information, suggestions, and prescriptions for success can be not only information overload and choice overload, but stress overload. Trading in one stress for another is never the answer… and turning to ALL of these outside sources is always turning against ourself.
Most recently I am discovering and excited about how powerful we really are, how infinitely wise our body really is and how the answers are all within if we trust and believe it - but hey that doesn’t mean we will access them right away … we have spent years, decades, and lifetimes turning away from our inner wisdom, the voice of guidance and it takes time to hear it again.
An especially prominent theme in this last year for me has been seeing the girl who I truly am under all the masks, the fears, the insecurities, and the shame. Learning how to peal away each layer, allowing myself the space to embrace my authentic self in her full capacity, acceptance. Never ever before would I have been able to associate with the emotion shame, or see how deeply wounded I am by the feeling of being “too much”. I have always “known” (aka - felt inaccurately) that I was “not enough” but how do we become too much and not enough all at the same time? The harm in this? When we think we are too much - we play small… and we play small - we feel not enough - we feel not enough - then we feel shame… and then we are caught in the shame game… Wow that is heavy shit. Anyhow… Im just on the cusp of this all - so much more healing here (but for the first time I am genuinely excited - because this knowledge is my super power - I can’t heal what I don’t know).
The best part of this journey is that what before used to be daunting. My old commitments to “personal development’ came from my hate for myself, all the disgust… I was always running from who I was (or who I thought I was) In search of a better me - and in a hurry to get somewhere. NOW, now is different. Now I have this compassion for myself I have never experienced before. I look in the mirror and I understand this little girl inside who just wants to be loved and accepted, and now I am excited to embrace this journey, not in a hurry, no where to go, no where to be…. just continuously committed to PRACTICING self love through thought, feeling and action. Learning how to trust that there is a light within me and opening up to let it shine.
Now I see this light in those around me more brightly…and I’m on fire… my passion to keep moving forward on this soul journey is fun and exciting, and I just want to love everyone and show them they are worthy of loving themselves as well. BUT the best way I can help another is by BEING the change I wish to see. The best way I can help you learn to love you is by learning first to love me. We make impact by being the example, a natural leader. And for me and my journey I know I can’t put pressure on myself to be or do anything other then this- lead by example and in doing so, create space for another to do the same.
I am committed to living a life of purpose… What is purpose? Anything that brings me deep joy, that lights me up, that makes me tick, that FEELS truly good…I don’t want to be another person who is just busy all the time - I want to be purposeful. Sometimes I think we even assign too much pressure and judgement around what is purposeful…. what is purposeful to me is different for you and that is OK. Join me on this journey into self love and purpose.. let your light shine and let’s make this world a brighter place.
PS - I am 100% in belief that we will ALWAYS find what we are looking for. The more I look for good - the more good I keep finding in this world. In a time where a lot of bad is happening .. its important we make sure to find the good….AND, find where your deepest passion is to help improve the bad and focus on that - not everything else. Focusing on areas of life that we are not called to make a difference is wasted energy that could be spent focusing on the change we wish to see :)
Sometimes I play, sometimes I read, sometimes I travel. Sometimes I nap, sometimes I paint, sometimes I hike, and sometimes I lay in a hammock and listen to the wind. Sometimes I meditate, sometimes I take a bike ride… some days I workout. Most days I’m active and somedays I just rest. Most of the time I try to eat lots of veggies and whole foods, and sometimes I enjoy some chocolate, icecream or a beer with a friend. Most of the time I get natural vitamin D, use natural skin care products and buy organic foods, and sometimes I go out to eat and have no idea whether or not is organic. I think that it is all about balance… and this is my balance.
HAVE YOU EVER SUFFERED FROM EATING DISORDERS, OR STRUGGLED WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO FOOD? If so, here is my short story, because I want you to know that YOU are NOT alone! XOXOXOXO 💕
Never ever did I think it would have flowed the way it has into what it has but it has been a challenging and beautiful ride. What started out as a quest simply to get out of physical and emotional pain, where I began exploring many facets of physical health and fitness, has shifted into this complex, life long spiritual journey and commitment to developing a truly loving relationship with myself. I say life long, because I am only on the cusp, and while excited, I know it is a journey until my last breath and that it will never “perfect”. And, that is more then OK.
I know sometimes when we are in the middle of something it might not make sense and we can be on a path and in the present moment we might not see how it aligns or what it aligns to or what is to come - but looking back on the last 10 years it all makes wonderful sense -the layers of this journey, the discoveries, the pain, the tears, the joy, the many many lessons, the knowledge gained…
While spending the better part focused mostly on the physical aspect of health, I have come to understand how incredibly interwoven our mind-body- and spirit health is all intertwined. I can’t experience health in one area without health in all areas. I have also come to understand HOW much of what appears as physical symptoms is emotional by nature. And so in this quest to heal my physical - I have discovered that the biggest missing piece is a healthy relationship with ME, a loving relationship with myself.
It is one thing to say consciously that we love ourself, it is another to feel that love at our core, and to truly act in love everyday… I mean - love is a verb after all.
My journey has definitely been a very interesting one with twisting winding and often backtracking or dead end roads - I suppose that is called LIFE :) Sometimes when we are in a growth phase we learn and practice some shit, and it serves us for a while, but ends up also hurting us as well. Then we reach a point we might have to back up and switch gears, change directions, reroute… I can’t tell you how many times in my attempts to be healthier I actually made myself more sick, or traded one problem in for another, because of how strict and overly disciplined I would be with myself, therefore adding only more layers of stress and anxiety to my already overactive anxious nervous system. With that said, I also had many wins, where I felt great success and improvement in my well being. Life is anything but linear, as is our spiritual or personal growth journeys.
There are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many endless people and businesses and systems out there telling us how to live our life, what it means to be healthy, what we can and can’t eat, how to move, what to do, what not to do, and what causes cancer (myself included - as my professional journey has also evolved as my personal journey - they are completely intertwined and can not be separated)… All of this information, suggestions, and prescriptions for success can be not only information overload and choice overload, but stress overload. Trading in one stress for another is never the answer… and turning to ALL of these outside sources is always turning against ourself.
Most recently I am discovering and excited about how powerful we really are, how infinitely wise our body really is and how the answers are all within if we trust and believe it - but hey that doesn’t mean we will access them right away … we have spent years, decades, and lifetimes turning away from our inner wisdom, the voice of guidance and it takes time to hear it again.
An especially prominent theme in this last year for me has been seeing the girl who I truly am under all the masks, the fears, the insecurities, and the shame. Learning how to peal away each layer, allowing myself the space to embrace my authentic self in her full capacity, acceptance. Never ever before would I have been able to associate with the emotion shame, or see how deeply wounded I am by the feeling of being “too much”. I have always “known” (aka - felt inaccurately) that I was “not enough” but how do we become too much and not enough all at the same time? The harm in this? When we think we are too much - we play small… and we play small - we feel not enough - we feel not enough - then we feel shame… and then we are caught in the shame game… Wow that is heavy shit. Anyhow… Im just on the cusp of this all - so much more healing here (but for the first time I am genuinely excited - because this knowledge is my super power - I can’t heal what I don’t know).
The best part of this journey is that what before used to be daunting. My old commitments to “personal development’ came from my hate for myself, all the disgust… I was always running from who I was (or who I thought I was) In search of a better me - and in a hurry to get somewhere. NOW, now is different. Now I have this compassion for myself I have never experienced before. I look in the mirror and I understand this little girl inside who just wants to be loved and accepted, and now I am excited to embrace this journey, not in a hurry, no where to go, no where to be…. just continuously committed to PRACTICING self love through thought, feeling and action. Learning how to trust that there is a light within me and opening up to let it shine.
Now I see this light in those around me more brightly…and I’m on fire… my passion to keep moving forward on this soul journey is fun and exciting, and I just want to love everyone and show them they are worthy of loving themselves as well. BUT the best way I can help another is by BEING the change I wish to see. The best way I can help you learn to love you is by learning first to love me. We make impact by being the example, a natural leader. And for me and my journey I know I can’t put pressure on myself to be or do anything other then this- lead by example and in doing so, create space for another to do the same.
I am committed to living a life of purpose… What is purpose? Anything that brings me deep joy, that lights me up, that makes me tick, that FEELS truly good…I don’t want to be another person who is just busy all the time - I want to be purposeful. Sometimes I think we even assign too much pressure and judgement around what is purposeful…. what is purposeful to me is different for you and that is OK. Join me on this journey into self love and purpose.. let your light shine and let’s make this world a brighter place.
PS - I am 100% in belief that we will ALWAYS find what we are looking for. The more I look for good - the more good I keep finding in this world. In a time where a lot of bad is happening .. its important we make sure to find the good….AND, find where your deepest passion is to help improve the bad and focus on that - not everything else. Focusing on areas of life that we are not called to make a difference is wasted energy that could be spent focusing on the change we wish to see :)
Sometimes I play, sometimes I read, sometimes I travel. Sometimes I nap, sometimes I paint, sometimes I hike, and sometimes I lay in a hammock and listen to the wind. Sometimes I meditate, sometimes I take a bike ride… some days I workout. Most days I’m active and somedays I just rest. Most of the time I try to eat lots of veggies and whole foods, and sometimes I enjoy some chocolate, icecream or a beer with a friend. Most of the time I get natural vitamin D, use natural skin care products and buy organic foods, and sometimes I go out to eat and have no idea whether or not is organic. I think that it is all about balance… and this is my balance.
HAVE YOU EVER SUFFERED FROM EATING DISORDERS, OR STRUGGLED WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO FOOD? If so, here is my short story, because I want you to know that YOU are NOT alone! XOXOXOXO 💕
#chooselove 💕
